WTF: Spears addition

Today’s not really news, but apparently easier to stomach than Iraq headline:
Britney’s 16 yr old sister Jamie Lynn is preggers.

The Spears’ Family is officially a multi-car pile-up traffic accident for the world to ogle and waste their time one (me included). I’m actually sad (well sad mixed with slightly judgmental) for Jamie Lynn. She is 16, a Nickelodeon role model/star for the tween set and unfortunately the baby sister of Poptart (God I love that word!) Britney. This turn of events for Lil’Spears is not a good no matter how you spin it or how much OK Magazine pays you for the story. Add to that her sister’s major paparazzi porn f-ed up life and this situation will soon be eclipsing all the other non-news of celebrity airheads. Obviously Jamie Lynn is set for money and childcare, but what little privacy or career she had is probably going bye-bye forever.

I'm sure thousands upon thousands of teens have sex and get pregnant every year, so in that the Lil’Spears has company. Here is my nastier judgey part, not many of those millions are also major tween stars with their own lines of toys, clothes and a major influence over young women in the US. Now after realizing, “Hey, this is jacked up.” Lil’Spears tells kids to just say no to pre-marital sex! It’s not he premarital sex part that’s the problem, at least not in my little moral oral mind. The real problem is that Lil’Spears is 16 AND apparently didn’t learn the whole Birth Control lesson from her big sister. She is lucky she didn’t get crotch crickets or some other fun STD along with the pregnancy.

Merry Christmas Entertainment News Providers! You are set well past New Years with this Spears family antics. Now let’s hope something better or at least more socially relevant comes along in 2008!

Guilty TV Pleasure...I'm such a Geek!

I'm almost ashamed to admit I'm excited for a cheesy reality show that is a revival of on of mu childhood favorites. American Gladiators! I used to religiously watch that show in it's 1990's heyday. The strange costumes, silly challenges and the massive obstacle course just enthralled me...but then I got older and ostensibly cooler (relatively speaking of course) and the show disappeared. Now I may have to watch at least the first few episodes just for flash back geek giggles. Hulk Hogan (I also loved the WWF shows when I was a kid) is host, the Gladiators are still crazy huge and I'm sure the cheese will be there in bulk. This just reinforces what a major geek I am.

Christmas Music from Outer Space!

I found a link to an unusual Christmas Song as I was clicking away at random entertainment blogs. The song was described as half Christmas card/half intergallactic cry for help. Chiron Beta Prime may well become a holiday staple, if for no other reason than it makes me giggle! Enjoy!

Bacon Cookies?

I am a big fan of bacon, but I'm very sceptical about a Bacon Chocolate-Chip Cookie with Maple Glaze. I mean sweet and savory are usually a good combo, but does bacon really make the cookies better, or just ever so slightly more artery clogging. I think it's fair to say I will not be adding these to my Christmas Cookie catalogue anytime soon. How about you?

Music Makes the Holidays Better!

I love Christmas…and actually Hanukkah (primarily the Dreidel song)...music. I’m sure there is some bastion of Kwanzaa songs somewhere, but I have yet to hear any of it in stores or on the radio. Most songs and artists I can deal with, I may not buy the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, but a few of the songs are passable as background music for the Holidays. Of course this time of year makes me embrace my favorites and dread the other tripe and crap variations of holiday classics.

My all time favorite CD, the one I force my family to listen to so much that my Mom has to commander the CD changer is John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. Oh my God that CD is fantastic! So many memories of Christmas past and enjoyable tunes for Christmas Present and Future to enjoy! I also hit the Mannheim Steamroller CD’s pretty hard, nothing beats often trippy (Carol of the Bells anyone?) electronica and orchestral takes on Christmas. An added bonus is it drives my Brother’s nuts, so it’s got to be played if for no other reason than perverse sibling antagonism over the Holidays.

Mind you I now start my annual dread of my all time least favorite song…Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. THIS SONG NEEDS TO GO AWAY!!! My own Grandmother, may she rest in peace, had a love hate relationship with the song. Her dark and ribald sense of humor got a kick out of a song about a drunken Grandma getting taken down by Santa, but on the other hand she was a Grandma and thought the song lacked some level of respect. I hate this song. It’s inane and crueler in nature than I’m ok with this time of year. It also gets stuck in my head. Even as I type this blog, the chorus of the song is playing in my head and I am not okay with that!

As always I’m on the look out for good Holiday music. This year it was a lot of old school 50’s and 60’s swing interpretations by Sinatra and others. Plus of course the Chipmunk Song, a song I forgot I loved until I heard it again. My wish for all is happy listening to Holiday or whatever music you’d like this year…and if you can go out and buy John Denver and the Muppets: A chirtsmas Together, I figure all of humanity should listen to that one.

Politics and Religion Don't Mix!

Is it just me, or do others find the strange fixation with Mitt Romney vs. Mike Huckabee and the Christian vs. Mormon media discourse a bit odd? Until Nightline and CNN and a few others ran stories fueled by the Mitt Romney Religion speech I had no idea flocks or Evangelicals try to save Mormon souls or how many people feel Mormons are a cult. I also had no idea that many Evangelicals do not consider Mormon’s Christians at all. The Mormon Faith is shrouded in secrecy about a lot of their tenets and I guess their founding is a bit suspect to many, but still they are big fans of JC. I’m sure a few even sport WWJD do bracelets along with any WWJSD beliefs they have. The strange media and campaign twists this whole discussion has caused seems fascinating to me. Huckabee is now, “The Christian Candidate” and playing up his past as a Baptist minister. Romney has been forced to make speeches reminding people he is religious and a peachy keen candidate and that the Mormon element is minimal.

Personally, I have never met and unfriendly or crazy Mormon. I’ve had a number of Mormon friends and encounters with Mormons and none of them have ever tried to convert me or acted in any way but pleasant and upstanding. Most don’t drink and are family oriented and they amaze me with their ability to avoid caffeine, which is the only substance I can check off as an addiction for me. I’ve had more unpleasant encounters with Evangelicals trying to convert me or attack my belief system and twisting some hateful language in my direction for my refusal to bend to their will.

Mind you neither Huckabee nor Romney holds a snow balls chance of ever getting my vote. They are Republicans, and not the kind cooperative Republican I could support. On the petty this-shouldn't-really-matter-but-it-does side, could you imagine a President Huckabee without giggling jut a little? Plus Ken Doll hair Romney has more going against him then people fear of Mormons…he has Ken Doll hair and his wife is Barbie and he is totally getting B**ch slapped for flip flopping on immigration and abortion. Hopefully neither of these men make it to the big show…but then again maybe Hillary or Obama would have an easier time beating them than Mayor 911. Man I wish we could move past the primaries already, this election feels like it’s been going on forever!

STRESS Take 2

I have stress, plenty of it as I have ranted before, but I realized that really none of my stress is Holiday related. At least not directly Holiday related. I love the time that starts with Thanksgiving leads to Christmas and wraps up with New Years! I love getting people presents, attending parties, getting Christmas Cards (but never writing them…I should work on that) and of course going back to the frosty lily pad of WI to be with family. My Christmas shopping is down to just minor stuff, my flight is booked and was only kind of expensive in stead of killer, I have a nice manageable amount of Holiday parties to attend, presents to look forward too and best of all every member of the Frogger Family will be home…and that is a rare event indeed! I'm starting to think this makes me an oddity at this time of year when almost everyone else is deep in Holiday heck.

Did I mention that I still have stress, and plenty of it? Yet somehow the Holiday’s do not mess with my head all that much. Buying presents does highlight the BIGGEST stressor, but I’ve found that can be dealt with too. Other aspects of my life mess with my stresses a lot more than the Holidays. A few years ago I had the honest discussion with myself…why are you stressing over the Holidays? You can’t make stress just go poof, but you can reframe it, so over the Holidays I just reframe it! Stress is life, but this brief window of time in life is supposed to highlight love, giving, thankfulness and family, so I focus on that and it helps put the stress in perspective. Let’s face it; all of my stressors will be around for a while, so freaking out at this moment will just add to their power. I’m no Super Zen FroggerGirl and I fail at this positive thinking sometimes, but that’s to be expected, because I’m human and we are equally good at failing as we are at succeeding. So long as I keep trying that means I’m moving forward and that eventually some stress will fade and other will come-up.

Now the key for me is just remembering to keep this frame of mind when the Holidays are over. I think I can do that, but there will surely be lapses thanks to good old human nature! There are times I wish this kind of thing wasn't so exhausting!

Would this work?

As I have said before I have a fondness for advice columns. They are my daily news guilty pleasure, akin to the horoscope for daily fun with a dash of usefulness if your open to let it in. A a staple of the advice column is the single women complaint columns. You know what I'm talking about because they are in everything from Savage Love to Dear Abby...the painful, "Where are the decent men" letters or my favorite letters the, "I'm so fantastic, yet I can't seem to find anyone who appreciated my fantasticness! What to do?"

Now, on more than one occasion as a response the single woman dating complaints letter, Dear Margo has given a piece of advice that seems very quaint, old school, and would have worked a decade ago...maybe...but would probably not work now. If you want to meet quality men go to a hardware store on a Friday night. Ummm, maybe it's just me, but I would feel VERY sketchy if I went to troll for guys in a hardware store. For one thing, why the hell waste my Friday night in a Home Depot? I have no real home improvement needs myself and feel that any contrived guy trolling is counter productive and not really helpful for me. Another issue is a lot of guys in a hardware store are married picking up supplies for weekend work. According to Dear Margo there are loads of single male homeowners trying to find Ms. Right in the hardware store. Apparently Margo is NOT living in the DC metropolitan area. Maybe in Iowa this tactic works, but I think it's odd advice.

BTW, despite the Frog Pond reference FroggerGirl didn't write this letter. I may have moments of lament over my single status, but so far I've been able to deal with it without writing Dear Margo...plus the author is like 4 years younger than me. If she thinks it's tough now, just wait a few years! ;-)

Why do I let TV bother me?

This is a question that keeps me up at night…in the figurative sense, "Why do I let TV bother me?". I watch programs and then I wonder, “Why do I let them stress me out or depress me?” Most of programs are scripted TV, so it’s totally imagined fake people acting out scenarios, or it’s Oprah or a silly reality program, that probably should be taken with a grain of salt before I let it impact my psyche.

Last night is a perfect example: Grey’s Anatomy. WTF people, this season had better get back on track after the WGA Strike, because I am not as attached to the show so far this season as I was in Season 1-3. I still love the idea and my fond memories of Grey’s past keep me tuning in, but this season has felt more like it was toying with my emotions (and Yes, I realize TV is an inanimate object/presence that cannot be targeting specifically me, I’m not completely crazy). It’s a sign of good TV when people get absorbed and believe these actors, but if a show messes with me too much I have to stop watching. ER was a casualty of this phenomenon. Too much useless blood and drama (bed hopping) made it impossible for me to watch with any devotion. Any characters I liked died or left so the show fell off my radar.

Last night’s Grey’s was a blood and depression fest. I spent most of the episode hoping to NOT see blood and ick mixed with the emotional angst. Overall, I was pleased that some of the story lines I was most pissy about had some resolution (George and Izzie anyone?) but overall I am still nervous that after loosing Addison and some of the other characters loosing focus this show could drive me away (or start seriously sucking)…and I don’t want that. For as much as TV shouldn’t control me, I still love this show and can forgive it messing with my head a little…so long as happiness or positive story lines occur at least once in a while. My fingers are crossed for the rest of the season!

Painful (literally) life lessons

I have decided I must have a masochistic streak buried deep in my subconscious. I seem to have an innate ability to harm myself, usually in minor ways, due to actions that I just don’t think through or seem to happen. Maybe I need to apply some Buddhist Mindfulness into my world. I have in the past year and a half sliced my hand open and needed stitches while slicing a bagel, which to be fair was not as stupid as it sounds, and was very uncomfortable. I have messed up any number of muscles and joints thanks to not paying attention while walking/exercising. I almost killed myself in heels in my work bathroom more than once thanks to marble floors…well the list goes on and there is a lot of stupid/thoughtless incidents not worth the prolonged chronicle.

This week’s edition…I had to get gussied up for a professional situation and the only way my suit slacks (or trousers, take your pick) looked right was in a certain pair of very cute, perfectly deep red, pointy toed, a bit too high for comfort stiletto heels. They looked fabulous, but by the time I had been in them for the few hours of my professional engagement, well, my feet hated me. Lovely blisters and painful calf muscles complained for days. I have no one to blame but myself, but damn it those shoes made the whole outfit! A smarter person would have found a better way to make the outfit work, or maybe had the foresight to get the trousers hemmed…but in this case I did not have said foresight to think the situation through. This will now be added to my mental list of Self-Inflicted Things to be Avoided! Maybe one day the lessons on the list will stick and I’ll stop inflicting harm…but I doubt it if it's Cute Shoes vs. Unsatisfactory Outfit, the shoes always win.

I'm totally seeing this movie!

OK, so again in the Entertainment Blog realm I found this post about an upcoming Colin Farrell movie. I was not sold on Colin Farrell...until I watched the trailer and saw Ralph Feinnes was in in too. Colin Farrel actually seemed on his game in this movie, which is a shocker after how bad Alexander was and how bad his new Woody Allen Movie sounds. Added bonus on this movie, it takes place in one of my favorite cities in Belgium...yes, I have a favorite Belgian city and if you don't your missing something! The movie In Bruges looks funny/quirky and even though it seems to rip on Belgium...well it still looks funny. Now I just have to hold out until at least 2008 to have my own little Bruge flashback on the big screen.

Kids!

As many know, the FroggerGirl is a totally Awesome Auntie (I have independent input on this from the subject nephews and nieces…they may have been kissing some butt, but still) There are 4 tadpoles in the family and for good measure there is even gender distribution. I’m currently at this weird stage of Auntie-dom…my nieces and nephews are getting older. Yes, I realize I cannot stop this process, but it freaks me out.

My oldest nephew is now about 11.5 months away from being a teenager. I will have a tadpole nephew no more…he will be a pubescent semi-tadpole-froggy-thing…that is just not ok! Well, alright it’s the circle of life and it happens, but as a friend of mine would say, “I am not emotionally prepared for departure.” As he gets older I’m finding more in common with him in terms of humor and conversation, but it’s hard to part with my memories of him as the quiet serious blond toddler/kid in grandpa glasses who was too precious for word. His sister is hitting double digits this January…the Big 1-0. That is equally tough, but I guess since her big brother is paving the way I can deal with her age better.

As I spent time over the Holidays with my 4 ½ yr old nephew…let’s call him Train Boy…and my Little Princess (aka his sister the 2 ½ yr old Chief Trouble Maker) I was reintroduced to how much I both love kids and am thrilled I don’t have them yet. My older nephew and niece remind me time is passing and kids grow-up too quickly. Train Boy and Lil’ Princess remind me that they also stay young for a long time and are challenges from start to finish. Tantrums, quiet moments, book reading, lap sitting (them, not me, I would squash there little selves!) new words learned (hopefully no bad ones they heard their Auntie slip up and say) and all the other memories that can only come from little kids. Terms like criss-cross apple sauce (I used this too at their age; it’s the PC term for sitting Indian Style) and dealing with the logic of kids who have yet to really learn empathy and sharing on a grand level. It was fun, but exhausting.

Every time I leave family gathers after time with the tadpoles I’m happy to have had the experience and sad to leave them, but I’m definitely happy that at this stage in my life I’m just Auntie. I play with the kids, but diaper changes and tantrums are usually handled by the parents. I may have learned empathy and sharing on a grand level…but I’m still happy to have my time for me and I don’t have to share it! I’m sure Christmas with all the family in one place will bring out the same feelings…but I guess that will be blogged about when it happens.

Terrible Netflix Decisions!

So I was skipping though the world of Entertainment Blogs and came across a rant about how one film can ruin you for an actress or even mess with your head enough that sleep is hard to find and Netflix decisions are behind the trauma. I was tempted to rent the movie Hard Candy, then I found out it was a pretty sick horror flick and it was deleted from my queue pretty darn fast.

It’s the last line of the blog that made me start thinking…What movie did I regret so much that I too pretty much ran to get it out of my house? My Answer: Irreversible! I rented this at least 2 years ago and it haunts me still. GAH! Possibly the most pointless, violent and physically revolting movie experience I have had. I thought it was a Memento like movie that runs backwards and it was French and supposed to be edgy and a thinker flick. In all fairness I had been warned by reviews that it had some tough stuff, including a rape scene, but I was tricked by some decent reviews into thinking it would be thought provoking. For me it provoked the thought that destroying this DVD would break laws (it was Netflix property after all) and should not be done no matter how much I wanted to and it would not solve the problem of more copies of this thing.

NOTE OF CAUTION: SPOILERS WILL BE WRITTEN HERE…so if you planned to traumatize yourself with this movie, stop reading…but please rethink watching this movies…it is terrible!

Nauseating camera moves that made motion sickness immediately trigger should have been warning one. The opening scene in a super raunchy Paris gay bar that shows fisting: warning 2 that we have a problem. Quickly compounding matters was warning number 3…the hate crime of literally bashing in a gay guy’s head in graphic detail. The next scenes were awful and involved trying to find a rapist and a lot of anti-gay talk. The rape scene…well let’s see that was big red flag sirens going off that this movie needed to go home. It was beyond graphic and went on for almost 10 minutes and well it was horrifying. I looked away…I thought this has to be over soon, right? No, it was awful and the movie just kept on going. Shortly after that scene came some more nauseating camera moves and my own feelings of being dirty for watching something so pointless and awful. Then silly drama in a bar and that made no sense and was foreshadowing the rape I just suffered through (remember the film moves backwards) and I then decided I had to turn off the movie, seal it back in it’s Netflix envelope and get it the hell out of my apartment. I left my apartment went downstairs and outside to the mailbox at 11pm to get it on its way back home to Netflix. I then ran upstairs and searched out The Princess Bride to try and wipe the gross flashes and scenes from my head with gentle and silly comedy.

So, long story short it took a while for that one to be semi-erased from my mind and it definitely made me rethink supposedly “edgy thinker films” from France and Netflix reviews! Lesson learned for now...and Irreversible is added to my NEVER AGAIN list of movies!

My Deamon...is it me? I'd like to think so!

Marketing with a Message

OK, I admit it...I love the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty ads that promote "real" women. I was fascinated by the first ad Dove Evolution that showed in time elapse how admittedly beautiful models (in this case random woman) are morphed into gorgeous unattainable beauty thanks to make-up and hair staff plus computers to help even out features and make people look skinnier. The Pro-Age campaign with aging women in some form of undress was risque, but at the same time it had a message about beauty and timelessness...and the fact that everyone of us will age and get wrinkled and grey, but we are not ugly because of that. Their most recent foray is aimed at younger girls and is called Dove Onslaught to demonstrate how media can get to them without a parent noticing. I think it's a very well done piece and it's got a solid message. Apparently there are those who think these messages are NOT good...and hurt as much as the rest of media.

I think the author of that article and a number of critics are looking at this with a skew to their won agenda (and No I am not surprised by this...it's how media works). The message that women need to develop self-esteem that is separate from a fashion industry or media ideals needs to broadcast far and wide. Being attractive/presentable is attainable for anyone, but that is one small part of who we are! I'm not a model, but I like to think I look presentable and attractive most days, but beyond that I'm wicked smart and driven which will take me farther than being 110lbs with big tits and no brain. I hate that stupid people like Paris Hilton or any number of drunk-ass Reality TV stars get attention for vacuous personalities, lack of discernible brain activity and being "HOT". Kids (Hell, Adults) are sponges and a dialogue about beauty and the media needs to happen. To say these ads tell girls that any kind of beauty goal or activity is stupid is missing the point of the ads and skewing the issue. For Christ's Sake, DOVE SELLS BEAUTY PRODUCTS!!! It would be suicide to put out the message that appearance is totally meaningless. Dove is marketing a different ideal. I don't buy a lot of Dove products...too much perfume and so far nothing has caught my fancy...but I sure am inclined to give them a try from time to time. Specifically because they are willing to challenge an idea. I realize that there challenge helps their business, but I'm realistic enough to accept that trade off.

STRESS!

Its official…I’m stressed! I thought for a while I was in a funk and just a bit overwhelmed with lots to do, but I can handle that right? Well…yes, but it is now time for a stress reduction exercise or something! Causes of my stress are work, my MA, feelings of inadequacy in aspects of my life, possible new (and slightly scary) horizons for my career, a very stupid car insurance related stress and right now it just feels like life in general is stress. I think this is in the forefront of my mind b/c I haven’t been sleeping well the past few weeks (from the stress and the bright lights on 24/7 at this building remodel kitty corner from my window that seems to cut through my blinds, which is so delightful!) and its Friday…which should equal profound joy at the idea of two days of relative freedom…but the spark isn’t there. On some level there are hormones (so freaking annoying!) to blame for the stress funk seeming worse.

However, FroggerGirl was raised to be a Pollyanna with a whole “I can learn and grow from this” attitude so fear not gentle readers…I will persevere and kick this stress in the booty! For the first time in a while my weekend will not be a definition of boring. There are things to be done with friends and next week is Thanksgiving and quality time with my Brother’s family, specifically the little sweet urchins he and his wife brought into this world. So to sum up this ramble with classic cliché style…stress sucks, but some good old fashion comfort food (in moderation) and a sunny day help…the rest will take a bit more effort, but I’m ready for it!

I'm Afraid for the Future...

So this Daily Mail Article and a Facebook link made me a bit scared for the young women of today. Yes, I'm still young and a woman, but I'm not like these 18-25 year old alcoholics in training. Binge drinkers and proud of it...so proud they post pics of their drunken stupidity online...classy! We have all done stupid things while drinking, but let me tell you if there ever was a picture of me trying to pee in public, I sure as hell wouldn't post it online. employers, teachers, parents and peers could all see and judge (often harshly) a persons character and value off those kinds of pics. It's a brave (drunken) new world online...be prepared!

Politician or Rock Star….

OK, I have to be honest…I’m getting awful sick and tired of Barak Obama. Early on I was excited for him and his political aspirations. He had Liberal street cred with a lot of democrats, the exciting rise to power, he is very smart, a solid orator and seemed to have the making of the first black President of the United States. He seemed to have it all...and then reality set in! His performance in debates and in public has been a disappointment. He is treated like a Rock Star at campaign stops, but he’s a Politician…at least that’s what he claims to be. Rock Stars are fun and all, but I wouldn’t want Bono as my President…and I REALLY like Bono.

Oprah loves him, that’s no surprise. He danced and proved he had some groove on Ellen. Then he had the WORST INTERVIEW EVER on Tyra banks, I mean seriously that train wreck is no way to get votes. He has had his Colbert and Daily show sit-downs (which to be fair seems a pre-requisite for all candidates) and now he’s been on SNL to rip on Hillary. I get it, Obama’s relevant AND funny, but come on…this is getting ridiculous. The best he’s been able to do is rip on Hillary as a woman and a “faker” and promise he’s got all these innovative ideas, but where are the ideas? Where is the proof of policy smarts? Critics have rightfully pointed out he has not varied from a set stump speech and he’s made more than a few blunders proving he doesn’t have foreign policy chops. With every Hollywood moment he indulges in I’m loosing respect. Relying on cute and funny worked on his book tours, but now he’s trying to be President. I need my President to show that he/she has intelligence, savvy and political know-how…I could care less if Tyra or Oprah like him/her. For the love of God, somebody make him talk Politics and stop shaking his groove thing…it’s getting distracting.

Thanks to the Princezz for the idea….

Sily list of questions to answer and enjoy!
Copy and post your answers in the comments, and if you post on your site, I'll post my answers:
1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Fish?
5. Do you dream in color?
6. Ever seen a corpse?
7. Hipsters or Hillbillies?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
11. Do you trust the police?
12. Do you like musicals?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. Would you cheat ?
16. What are you wearing?
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. What's your favorite day of the week?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
25. What was your first impression of me?
26. Have you ever done drugs?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Addiction

Hello, My Name is FroggerGirl and I'm a Facebook-aholic. It is my new crack. Social network sites usually annoy the crap out of me...MySpace, Friendster...they just were never worth messing around on. Too much effort to play with the layout and all that. I'm officially on of those who crashed Facebook at the after 20 stage. Seriously, that site is waaaaay too much fun. I had to laugh at this article about Facestalking...very funny. It's still random how people I haven't seen in over a decade or more importantly don;t really talk to anymore are now my "Friends". Add to the weird voyeur element of Facebook the applications. Seriously my sister and I mess with one anther all the time with applications. I may one day need a Facebook intervention...but for now I'm revelling in the timewasting wonder that is Facebook!

This argument in Torture…

OK, I am sick of the whole “Torture” discussion. I think it’s important to discuss what is happening to terrorist suspects, but we have now devolved into rhetoric and stupid simplification. Party politics and political fear are now driving this discussion and that just seems wrong. There is a Geneva Convention for a reason and obviously our policies and procedures with Enemy Combatants has not been a resounding success. I think the current debate with Mukasey and all that is just static. Look, water boarding is torture…that’s it. Now how do Congress and the President intend to deal with all the political ill will we are creating everyday? Some real analysis and honesty would be appreciated by EVERYONE right about now. Sadly, I just don’t see much hope for that.

TRON

If I haven’t explained this before, FroggerGirl has a long memory that has a lot of random entertainment info stuffed into it. I’ve watched and remember a lot of obscure and cheesy TV and movies. One of my favorites is TRON. I remember watching TRON in class as a special “treat” in the 6th grade…a 1982 Disney movie about a guy sucked into a video game was out “treat”. It’s is pure sci-fi silliness from the early 80s. Seriously…this movie is CHEESE! What brings up this TRON moment? I saw a link to 10 Epic Halloween Costumes and there is a man who not only made himself a TRON costume…he did a special website giving a step by step description of the process. It is too funny!

For your consideration: TRON Guy

Now That's Commitment!

Ok, I read this article a while back and it stuck with me. Louis Theroux is a documentary film maker/newsman character in the UK known for unusual subject matter and commitment to documentary/news stories. He's a bit like a classy UK Michael Moore. For his most recent story he was focused on Plastic Surgery...and he even got some done in the name of his story. Either that's commitment or insanity. He committed partially out of vanity, but also out of curiosity...that's an odd mixture for elective surgery, but I guess no worse than the reasoning of contestants on Extreme Makeover. It's weird thought: Surgically altering yourself. Is the root of those decisions self hatred/self-disgust? Do you stay yourself when you make some very integral physical changes like boobs, new nose or other choices? Are you lazy if you get liposuction? Who knew one English guy's gut reduction could lead to so many questions.

Religious Crime Wave?

OK, so I was reading a Slate.com series on laws, or more specifically the breaking of laws. Today's focus: Mormons and the Amish. Who knew they were such law breakers? Well, I knew some of them were...but man it's funny to read it all in one place. It definitely makes you wonder where religious tolerance and actual law enforcement meet. From the headline it made me think there was a mass Amish/Mormon crime wave that nobody talks about. I knew there must be more the Amish than quilts, pies and a mean dislike of cameras!

Why I Love the CS Monitor

I lost ny news/infroamtion gathering way for a while. I got caught-up in CNN and MSN for it's quick, and often tabloid, news. Today I found the path. I had forgotten what a great and random news source the Christian Science Monitor is. I read it all the time in college and Grad School, and then…well go back to my Frost like path references for a clue. I rediscovered it today and I was just so happy. Everything from Philosophical editorials to a new form of bike racing is covered. I loved their book section for new and hard to find releases. What made me VERY interested today was an editorial about Kant and Atheism. I was so wrapped up in it…it was GREAT! Kant is one of my favorite philosophers, Perpetual Peace was one of the first tough books I picked to read early in college. The editorial was well balanced and confronted some issues I have been thinking about lately with so many books coming out saying belief in a higher power = diminished intelligence. So to the Christian Science Monitor I say, “Kudos! I will not forget you again.” I mean, where else will I find a Kant argument in a national news source? Certainly not on CNN.com or the other news cites that give equal time to Britney and Paris as well as REAL News.

Somethings are NEVER art

I have a confession to make: I love art, but I am more than a little scornful of certain forms of Modern Art. OK, I'm extremely scornful of many forms of Modern Art. Things like Performance Art or when someone craps on a piece of paper and call it art. I went to SFMoMA and saw a giant stack of Indigo died shirts...like 1,000 of them and it was being called Art. I guess I just didn't get it. At first I thought they were Prison shirts and that made sense, but no they were just cotton shirts. It seemed like a waste of resources more than art...I mean come on, a big ass pile of shirts?

Why this rant? Well I was paying attention to two art related stories this week. NPR and BBC covered this story of the dumb-ass artist who as an , "Act of Love" kissed a $2M white canvas in France. Her lipstick cannot be removed from the canvas and now the owner is suing her for over $2M. The lady who kissed the painting is an artist too. I get a heavy whiff of publicity whore off this lasy more than genuine LOVE of art. Maybe she was hoping to piggyback on another artist's genius? Any way you slice it she defaced valuable and well thought of art, and it was NOT improved by ugly cheap red lipstick.

The other story totally grossed me out. An Artist has an ear grafted onto his skin as a statement of art...AN EAR! This is a medical technique used to help victims of violence, frostbite, etc...replace and reconstruct their bodies. What the hell is a perfectly normal, but possibly unhinged, dude doing grafting an ear onto his forearm? It looks gross and art be damned, this is clearly a medical ethicist worst nightmare. EWWWW!!!! This is not Art! I'll take a Rubens, Warhol or Pollack any day over seeing a dude with an ear on his arm...that is just all sorts of wrong!

Hallelujah, I’m saved!

Well, saved from feeling like a total tard when I text and IM people and can never figure out the lingo or TXT language. This may be lame, but Netlingo has totally helped! It gives me more than enough knowledge to feel less like an old fart and more like the young kind of-hip person that I am! YIPEE, I can feel less lame now! OMG! TTYL! Now if only I could get a website this sweet to help me with French!

WTF: Political

Let me get this straight, with all the crap that has hit the fan politically our President it voicing concern over the WWI Era Armenian Genocide? Are you kidding me? A horrible atrocity that happened almost 100 years ago that Congress was resolving was a genocide and thus a crime of the Ottoman Turks is worth an international brouhaha? I realize Turkey has been super helpful with the whole Iraq situation, but are they really this thin skinned about their past? I realize many countries have moments of denial, but this is ridiculous. President Bush needs to settle down and realize this issue is thre least of his troubles!

Someday you just feel like crying….

Ever had a day where stress and other shit just get you down? I’m having one of those days. I hate pity parties…especially when I’m having one! I realize we all need to feel the range of emotions from happy to sad and I appreciate all of those emotions because they do inform my life. I just try to keep self-pity to a minimum, it just seems healthier and pity parties usually don’t make me feel better.

Today is a day when homework seems insurmountable, work is a bit odd and emotionally over wrought and I just discovered people really do suck! My usual stance on people will be restored once my funk is lifted, but for now….sucksville!

Enunciation is Key!

Yet again at Yoga there was a funny word play moment. Funny to me because there is scatological 13 year old style humor still in my sense of humor. My regular yoga teacher is great. I love the fact that she is a bit spacey and has odd tangents and sometimes has word salad moments(worry not; no serious neurological issues are present). Overall she is good at what she does and her spacey is a kind I can deal with. There is just one thing, sometimes she doesn’t enunciate and this leads to her favorite phrase sounding kind of dirty when you have said 13 year old scatological humor in you.

My teacher likes to talk about reaching in to tap into, “Your Innate Ability” whatever ability that is for the lesson of the class. She says is more like, “Yer Innate” and when she is speaking fast like usual…well it sounds like, “Urinate” and that makes me giggle. I know it’s juvenile, but come on when someone says, “Reach deep into your self and tap into Urinate ability to release your pelvis.” Well, it’s a little funny. Maybe it’s just me, but at this point, anything that is making me smile is a good thing!

Very Naughty Blog? Really?

JustSayHi - Free Personals

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
drugs (5x) suck (3x) dead (2x) shit (1x)


Wow...didn't see that rating coming. I figured PG MAYBE PG-13, but NC-17? That makes me as dirty as the new Ang Lee Movie. See what happens when I blog about performance enhancing drugs and say the word suck? Iguess that proves the danger of taking information/words out of context. Very Naughty FroggerGirl.

Merde = Grammaire Francaise!

It’s official; I’m a grammar ‘tard. Yup, I have issues with the structure of language, especially a foreign language. In English it’s punctuation (you know : ; , etc…) that proves difficult or if you asked me about a dangling participle…I’d be screwed. Last night was class number 3 in French. I was a bit behind on all the homework, plus the in class work we didn’t get done last week, that the last 30 minutes of class were my own personal hell. Past tense verbs that need avoir vs. etre add or agreement of objects and conjugations. I’m in this class to help me finally absorb all the French grammar info I can’t seem to keep in my head. It’s annoying to always sound like a retarded French four year old when I speak the language. My pronunciation is great; it’s just the damn grammar! I’ve been doing flash cards at work, on the Metro…hell I’d do them when driving, but that seems dangerous. There is still hope in me, I have 7 more classes to attend and in that time something has got to be absorbed into my head and stay there. I will not be a cheese eating surrender monkey, I will soldier on! Merde!

Doping is Dope!

I must be jaded. Not only was I not surprised that Marion Jones finally admitted using performance enhancing drugs, I have minimal indignation about it. Usually I'm all sorts of indignant about this kind of thing. Is it weird that I just assume the majority of professional athletes take some form or another of performance enhancing drugs? Most athletes take some low level energy/dietary/hormone booster from a trainer, nutritionist or GNC like store. The truly bad offenders take steroids and its super powerful siblings to improve their performance. I realize there are honest athletes, but in endurance sports or events where we are breaking human speed records yearly it seems odd that just hard work lead to the freakish abilities of the participants.

The only thing that truly pisses me off is when an athlete lies repeatedly about their drug use, even when confronted with evidence of their drug use. Can you really tell me Bonds, Jones and others had no idea they were taking something stronger then flax seed oil? You sprouted muscle and had massive body changes...flax seed oil DOES NOT DO THAT! Kids look up to athletes, want to be them and live their life…and a lot of them are not honest about how they achieved their glory, money and fame. Just because everyone does it on some level doesn’t make it right, and it’s actually teaching kids to be dishonest and that there is a double standard on drug enforcement and athletes on drugs. It’s ok to do THESE drugs because they will make you run faster and hit balls farther, but stay away from crack, because crack kills.

Potisive? Po-T-isive? Is that a word?

Last night at Yoga my substitute teacher either has a random speech impediment or some issue with the pronunciation of a certain word. Throughout the evening when she should be saying positive it kept coming out as potisive. Po-T-isive…with a T not an S…so it’s a new word? The teacher was truly crunchy yoga lady. Late 40s with pierced nose, Sanskrit tattoo, crazy curly free flow hair and super chipper attitude. She is married to an artist and does super intense yogic chants and practice. So maybe she meant to have Pot in her Positive. I don’t want to stereo type, but come on, this lady loves her Herb. Class was fine, but I had to laugh when she would say, "Potisive thinking will help you engage your legs. We must thrive on potisive energy.” Webster’s, you are on notice because there is a new word on the block!

No child left behind…unless it’s a sick child

Ok, let me get this straight….Bush wants all children to excel in Education and has developed the No Child Left Behind ideology…but then he uses his veto power to kill legislation meant to help keep children covered with health insurance benefits. WTF people!

I realize I do now know all of the policy ups and downs or the nuance of SCHIP, but come on! The basic premise that even a majority of congressional REPUBLICANS understood was that there is a program in jeopardy that can help States keep children insured. That by allowing children (in most cases poor to lower middle class children) access to healthcare that is not killing their parents financially these children will get regular medical care and hopefully stay healthy, instead of parents trying to decide if they should buy food or pay for the ER. What is wrong with that?

Our country is in a crisis of health care. I can barely get an appointment to see my Doctor, and I have insurance. I don’t get the feeling Bush wants to hurt kids, but by engaging in this pissing contest with Congress he is putting the health and welfare of thousands of children second to his political hubris.

Guess what Bush? You just gave the Democrats another issue they can use during the 2008 Election season. You now look like a dickhead and even people from your own party are pissed about this issue. Way to go Mr. President!

The Train Wreck Continues

Here's a shocker: Britney Spear's living train wreck just won't stop. Is anyone actually surprised by this? And guess what kids? The media will continue to cover this like it's more important than any other world event.

Move over Sudan Crisis, because it's Britney Bitch!

You'll find me in the club?

Well, not often, but Saturday night I actually went out! I went out to celebrate a great friend’s milestone Birthday. Normally, it’s like pulling teeth for me to go to a club. The places are usually overpriced, crowded and there is often a heavy whiff, if not outright stench, of meat market. For a good friend I will go outside my comfort zone to Da Club (thank you 50 Cent), and this time it was actually fun.

I realize this is a bad way of looking at the preparation for going out to a club, but I view it as the time to Whore-up. If you’re a woman you know it involves way more than average make-up, skimpier than average clothes and shoes that often make you want to amputate your feet. I like to think my end result is more high-class hooker than down right whore…especially when I see some of the outfits the 18 year old girls are wearing. Everyone makes their choices…and most of my friends and I look more classy than trashy.

Thankfully I was able to skip paying a $20 cover thanks to a free online pass, being a woman over 21 and getting to the club before midnight. Plus being with reserved VIP tables (yeah, I was a part of a VIP group) let me jump the line. However, I am aging so the idea that the club doesn’t even open until 10pm was a bit daunting. I had to take a disco nap to be even close to handling it.

The second level where our tables were located was less crowded and more fun than the main level. A bit too warm, but space to sit and relax a bit made it more tolerable. There was of course the deafening music and requisite shouting into other people’s ears to have a conversation, but I wasn't expecting quiet or soothing atmosphere. I had to apologize to my ringing ears and sore throat, but the pain was minimal.

For my once in a blue moon outing, this one was worth it. Lots of friends and folks I hadn’t seen for a long time. The Birthday Girl had a great time and now I can say I actually went out to a club this year. So until next year, you will not be seeing me in the club…unless another friend needs to celebrate a milestone B-day there. And they better be a great freakin’ friend, or I am out!

Ewwww! Yet, oddly intriguing...

Saturday I went with the girls to see Bodies the Exhibition! I have wanted to see it since I first heard it came to town. For those not in the know, it’s an exhibit that has taken human cadavers and preserved them for exhibition. They were even able to separated out their bits and pieces to be preserved separately. So we saw not just whole bodies, but the entire circulatory system was broken down and separated by limb, section and finally the whole dame thing lit up bright red! Spinal cords, embryos…you name it and it was preserved. There was a tumor with hair AND eyes! HAIR AND EYES! That one was nasty and I didn’t even realize what it was until later when comparing notes with one of the girls.

It was weird because all of the exhibits and pieces were once living breathing people (most from China) that are now skinned, preserved and gawked at daily. It was informative, but also had the side-show freak element to it. Certain displays, like the embryo section, were totally meant to shock as much as inform. Yet I was sucked in and had only minimal moments of nausea, mostly caused by a sudden realization that the skinned down person was once walking/talking, not just the strangely wax figure like preserved specimen.

It was worth it to pay for admittance and an audio tour. I learned even more about the human body and saw things that used to be impossible to display until this new preservation process. It was interesting to see what we are really like inside. It’s easy to loose perspective about our bodies and our natural processes. This exhibit does make me reconsider any notion I had of leaving my body to science. I don’t really think I need to be skinned and gawked at…I’ll leave that to other corpses!

WTF: Celebutards Edition

Can I just say that if all of the crazy ass Celebutants/Celebutards could all just sit down in their drunken stupor and be quiet that would be great. Seriously, I am sick of seeing headlines about baby bumps, DUI and other crazy crap. What’s super-duper pissing me off? Frickin’ Paris (DUI Prison Superstar) Hilton is trying to save Africa with a visit to Rwanda. Yeah, her deep critical thinking skills and conflict resolution skills will totally help a civil war ravaged country more than UN and other NGO efforts. Maybe she can give them fashion advice…that would be helpful right?

Look, she has more money than God could have rightfully wanted her to have, so I agree with a few of the columns I have read: WRITE A CHECK PARIS! Don’t go there. You are a dumb-shit drunk and you are not helping to bring awareness to these people. Your bringing awareness to yourself…and again not in a good way! TMZ.com (yeah I know not the arbiter of class act news, but whatever) even tried to ask other dumb-ass Hollywood blonde her thoughts on Paris's trip. The results just make me sad for America!

I do not think Paris truly wants to help these people. I think she is trying to save her vapid little self from seeming too vapid and useless in the media. Too late, we all know you are a waste of time/space, you are not Angelina and prison hasn’t changed you one bit. Rwandans, brace yourselves!

This is going to be mean...

Consider this a reminder if you know me and if you don’t it’s an explanation: FroggerGirl is not a tiny petite waif of a girl. I am not massive…probably just on the larger end of the normal spectrum. Having said this, let me now be mean.

As I was going through security at SFO Airport, there was a middle aged couple in front of me. They were like a parody of a married couple. Bickering, struggling and in general not happy campers. Things like, “What are you doing? God what is wrong with you!” coming from the wife and equally cheery talk from the husband. Now you’re thinking to yourself, “Well FG is not being sweet and cuddly about this couple, but how is this mean?” Well, I’ll tell you…this couple was FAT! Not just a little big or mildly overweight…these were Weebles. They were almost as wide as they were tall…and thankfully they were not tall.

I would have probably forgotten these two as I continued on my merry way except…they were on my flight back to the Swamp. Worse yet, guess who was sitting in my row? You got it, Mrs. And Mr. Weeble. NOT COOL! First these two barely fit in their seats and even though I was thankfully on the aisle. Well you can imagine right? Mrs. Weeble was complaining that she was claustrophobic…and then looks over at me (she thought I was listening to my iPod) to say, “I would pay to sit on the aisle” to her husband. Yeah, well I would not accept any amount of money to sit smashed between the less than happy Weebles or crammed against the window with them trapping me.

Let’s draw a word picture shall we? Picture is you will the less than roomy seats on an A319 plane about to be in the air for about 5 hours. Now, picture two Weebles crammed into the middle and window seat. FroggerGirl has to stow her items under the seat in front of her. Weebles had bogarted the overhead bin space for their massive bags of chocolate, candles and t-shirts souvenirs. Mrs. Weeble is violating the personal pace of FG in a major way. Not only is she invading over the top to the armrest in such a way that I must torque my body into the aisle and I cannot fully sit back without leaning my shoulder onto a portion of her arm, there is bellow the armrest space violation. Again, FG is not tiny, but my ass fits in the seat with at least 2-3 inches between it and the armrests…no spillage of my girth into the other passenger’s thigh space. Overall, it’s no a pretty picture and it lasts for 5+ hours with us not arrving in the Swamp until the wee hours of the morning. YIPEE!

Like I said…not nice of me, but this couple triggered MAJOR resentment and discomfort for me. That and the fact that I was stuck with them for so long in such a small amount of space didn't help. It’s one more reason that makes that thin line of love and hate in travel so precarious. Sometime people just suck!

Pearls Before Swine

I happen to love comics. I hate touching news print (all the ink residue and smell is a bit much for me) but when I'm visiting the Northlands of WI, well I risk the ink and start stealing the crossword/comics/Lifestyle section from Momma Frog. Mayhem (of the happy/funny kind) ensues because Momma Frog is a bit territorial with her crosswords and Lifestyle section.

Thanks to the Internet I can get my funny fix sans ink. Pearls Before Swine is one of my favorites. Not the best drawing, but often it has great social/political commentary...and a subversive message. This one made me smile ear to ear.

Why the smile? My biggest photo pet peeve, be it photo business cards (especially in Real Estate) or some other posed photos, is the shot of the hand under his/her chin look. Often the person looks like a dumb-ass with his/her hand under her chin. Note to any who are considering this: You do not look smart or cute. You look ridiculous! Sometimes little kids pictures can pull this off, but more often I can forgive those photos because the kid had no choice. I may take a note from Rat and start finding ways to institute corporal punishment to offenders. If you have one of these photos, well I say, "Good for you!" but know I never want you to send one to me.

The Thin Line Between Love and Hate

There is this strange internal dialogue/self analysis that occurs when I travel. It starts with the evaluation of the thin line between loving and hating something. I love to travel and 90% of the time I am thrilled…once I get to my destination. It’s the getting there that pisses me off at least 80% of the time. Keep in mind my statistics/percentage breakdowns can vary depending on the travel/reason.

I just got back from lovely San Francisco, CA….home of Rice-a-Roni and my oldest Brother J. This was a good trip; fun was had by all, unless Brother J and his GF were keeping things from me. Sibling bonding occurred, yummy food was eaten and tasty beverage was enjoyed too! The trip could have been longer, but my vacation time would not allow for this trip AND holiday travel…and let’s just say Momma Frog would not be cool if I shorted Christmas in WI even if it was to visit Brother J.

Why the love/hate discussion? Why the questioning of an activity (travel) that 80-90% of the time is thoroughly enjoyed? The answer is simple: the modes of travel available and the facilities I have to use SUCK!!! Driving to a location if it’s a part of a Girls or Friends road trip or traffic is minimal that’s fun. Otherwise in heavy traffic or crap weather, driving = No Fun! Bus, well that’s rarely an option worth taking. Train travel in Europe and other places of the world are a bit more viable than Amtrak. Air travel in theory should be the fastest, more efficient and in general better option…but it’s not. It’s all sorts of FUBAR.

Have you ever tried to deal with Dulles Airport? It sucks…so do most airports and the lines in security. It took me an hour to get through security AND then deal with the strange square people movers that drive you to your terminal. Then there was a running FroggerGirl barley boarding the plane in time despite arriving 1.5 hours early for her flight. The flight itself was fine…the flight home, well…BAD! That get's it's own special rant about people, not infrastructure.

For every pain free perfect trip there is it’s karmic twin waiting to spank me hard as a reminder that travel is an investment of time, energy and money and that thought + planning is required for decent trips. I hate having to plan AND think…it goes against every molecule of my procrastinating body. Instead I shall just suffer and rant at you poor souls who chose to read my blog. Aren’t you luck?

Thank Goodness for Netflix

Isn’t it sad when good TV dies? Or worse yet when good TV dies and you missed it? There have been a few of those shows in my world. Don’t get me wrong, TV is not everything and the loss of a good show doesn’t stop the world from spinning…but after work when my brain is sometimes half dead, well decent TV is nice to relax with, right? What’s prompting this little rant? I found a show called Wonder Falls on Netflix that only aired about 4 episodes on Fox. It’s weird and great and it made me laugh so hard a few times I cried…then I cried due to drama and good acting. Seriously, this show could have been my Grey’s Anatomy of the day when it started to air…but I missed it and it died the TV cancellation death.

Wonder Falls is not my first such discovery, about 2 years ago I discovered through Netflix the Joss Whedon show Firefly. I loved it so much I had to own it, and the movie inspired by it Serenity. Like a lot of good (and to be honest horrendous) TV it was canceled after only 3-4 episodes. It’s complicated, a bit subversive and FUNNY! Another show that died before it’s time that due to my lack of cable had to be provided to me via Netflix…ROME! Rome rocks! It is so good…with the nudity, violence and rocking dialogue/acting…I mean they actually got Rome for all of its gory glory! Yet only 2 seasons were made, and that is a travesty. I prefer to be amused by good TV, not crap like Caveman. Oh well, that’s why I have Netflix…to better enjoy what can so often be missed in TV Land!

Sad...

So, I’ve been in a bit of a funk since last night and said funk is over my Cousin, who I shall call Seattle Cousin (SC). She is 10 years younger than me and lives all the way across this big ol’ USA! She has also been comatose, vegetative, whatever choice medical term you like, for over a year. Mother’s Day 2006 she was in a terrible car accident with friends. One girl died, my cousin ended up in her current state and the driver just broke her arm. No alcohol or drugs involved, just giggly girls in a hurry to get to their destination. Then BOOM…2 vibrant girls went poof. Every day I get an email update on SC from her former boyfriend who updates a website on her condition and gives support to her family. She has good days and bad days. Most days I read the posts, pray for her and move on with my day. Those days tend to be neutral or good news days. Other days I read about her condition and just want to cry. Those are moments when I feel hopeless for her and her family in Seattle. I try to stay positive, but I’m human. It’s one of the situations I hope never happens to anyone else close to me, but the Universe/God may have different plans. The funk will pass with a new day, but SC will probably stay the same for a while. I guess that’s why humans hope for miracles…to help move-on and keep hope alive. So I hope…and that’s enough for now…

Emilie Simon - Fleur de Saison

I officially love this artist. The video is plenty trippy and just fabulous to watch!

Je m’appelle la FroggerGirl (La Grenouille Fille)

So, the FroggerGirl is getting her booty in gear on her MA degree and getting back into an organized French class. Yes, FG is a for real student again…and that’s weird to me right now. I’m excited, it should be interesting…and most of all I NEED to do this. No more stalemate of life. Onward and Upward, or whatever cliché goes best.

This whole going back to French class started arandom discussion and laugh moment. Sitting at dinner with Madam Blonde (sorry, it’s the best blogger name I can think of) in a ne pas tres cher (not too expensive) French restaurant, my random attempts at High School language flooded back to me. We both remembered the silly names we had to pick for foreign language class. Oh, you know the names if you took language classes in US high schools. The names were supposed to help you feel more connected to the language studied and cultures that spoke that language. Remember? When I first attempted French to resounding failure in the 8th grade, my French name was Yvette. Chosen from the random handout of names, and my love of the movie Clue. Mind you that Yvette totally bought the farm via a rope…

On my longer, and more painful, journey attempting to learn Spanish from 9-12th grade, I was known by the Spanish alias Chela (short for Marcela) and that name did not improve my Spanish. In fact, when I was on a wing and a prayer to get out of my senior year of Spanish with a C, I was contemplating a name change. Maybe the name was good luck in some sick way, because though my freaky good placement test I passed into 5th semester Spanish…and got a pass on my language requirement in College. Way to go Chela! Oh wait, no…BAD Chela, that freaky great test made me totally lazy on any kind of language study or attempt there of in College. Thus I was totally screwed me in Grad School requirements, well at least that’s the lie I tell myself. FroggerGirl, Chela, Yvette…whoever the hell I am, I get to go back to school. Je parle francais! Un peu (a little)

Hair Trauma

So, FroggerGirl has an issue…her hair. After much trauma and metaphorical (with a little bit of actual) hair pulling she is FINALLY getting a much needed hair cut. Why all the fuss? One, I’m a woman and like most women there are issues with appearance. The quest for a stylish haircut that is manageable and doesn’t take hours to deal with is a forever quest. Two, the hair stylist I was a fan of moved to another salon waaaaay out in the VA suburbs of The Swamp. Plus, his last haircut did not inspire the passion for FG to schlep all the way out to the far reaches of the VA burbs for a trim. What’s a girl to do? Go back with head low to the old stylist she ditched because she felt her locks had grown stale? I tried to branch out to the salon my super stylin’ buddy the Princezz goes to…but they had no openings until the end of September. I have already reached the point of a haircut being a NEED not a want…so waiting that long is no good.

Instead, FG is going to try to be a brave little soldier and branch out into the unknown. Saturday is the moment of truth…new stylist…new salon…and hopefully a satisfying haircut! This kind of angst over the dead cells on the top of my head drives me nuts. I may tell myself, “Its just hair!” but that mantra is a lie. Hair may grow back, but the bad haircut is the worst nightmare of most women I know. There should be a horror movie based on an evil barber, who doesn’t kill, just maims and deforms hair! Not many women would sleep well after that on!

Chester the Molester

I just read something that freaked me out about our society. Did you know there are people who assume most men are child predators? This started with a Dear Prudence advice column I read about a kid’s slumber party. Long story short, apparently one of the attendees Mom’s felt any non-relative male of their child was a possible molester. I had no idea the problem was out there, but the Wall Street Journal article sited in the column has me a bit spooked. I had no idea our society has come to the point where a man fears helping a child in distress because he is afraid someone will think he is a bad guy. One of the examples in this article reminded me a of a Police Blotter profile in my old community newspaper. The incident reported was a man stopped and questioned for walking into a community park around dusk with a male minor child. Guess what? This turned out to be a father and his son out for a walk who decided to go to the park swings before dinner. Wow, good thing you stopped that Mr. Officer, we wouldn’t want extraneous family bonding to occur in an public space.

I realize there are a lot of bad people in this world, both male and female. Chester the Molester could be lurking around the corner. I realize that bad men and women can hide their pervy tendencies. I get that, but to assume all males are molesters or predators, while all women are what…saintly mothers? That is a load of bunk! How many stories have you read about children dieing at the hands of their mothers? Worse yet, how about mothers who knowingly allow a pedophile access to their child? Both genders have saints and sinner…how sad we broke those down so harshly along gender lines. Let’s think about all the school sex scandals out there like Debra Lafave and others that involve women with boys. There is a whole lot of warped shit going on in this world beyond the To Catch a Predator infotainment program. There has to be a better way to address this then to live in fear that every male may be a predator.

A Wrinkle in Time....

I was sad to read that Madeleine L’Engle died this week. I have strong memories of reading A Wrinkle in Time and the other books in that series over and over when I was young. They were short, but riveting and were some of the first sci-fi fantasy books I read. To be honest at about the age of 10, her books were the only non-Baby Sitter Club books that I can remember reading and enjoying. I had a bit of a Baby Sitter Club fixation like I’m sure others in my age bracket (25-30ish) can sympathize with, but I digress... I still own the old paperback copies of L'Engle's books that used to be my siblings; they even sit prominently on my bookcase. Honestly, they have not been read in years. Partially because I’m busy reading other books, but mostly out of fear that they won’t be as wonderful as I remember. When I was little I wanted to be Meg Murry from A Wrinkle in Time because she proved she was smart and strong even when no one else thought her capable of great things. At the age of 10, it’s hard to see when an author is opening your eye to other worlds and great philosophers. Your 10, and if you were like me, you’re busy reading Baby Sitter Club books, not Euripides. Reading the bio of Ms. L’Engle made me realize her books were the first steps I made away from the cheese of BSC and later V.C. Andrews(God, those books were pure 100% cheese) towards real literature and great books and ideas. So, I guess A Wrinkle in Time will be read again, it’s worth the risk of loosing some of my rose colored memories of the book to better honor a great author!

Umm…I work the Government

Down here in The Swamp, it’s a good bet that at least half the people you meet work for the Government. Most of those people, when pressed, have no issue stating where exactly they work. For example: GAO, State, DoD, FBI etc… There is however one specific breed of Government worker that mystifies me: The CIA Employee.

I have yet to meet someone who works for the CIA who will straight up admit to it. Now, if you were a spy a la Valerie Plame then you would of course have a kitten when someone finds out you work for the CIA. That is a major National Security violation, and the CIA puts effort into keeping you secret. If you are an analyst, you do not need to keep this info a secret. Here is the secret, pretty much everyone already knows where you work…you are not secret agents, your analysts.

Obviously, you can’t talk about what projects you work on, who you see, classified materials etc… Come on people; you can at least admit you work for the CIA. Now, whenever anyone is too slow telling me where they work, The Frogger Girl knows they work for the CIA. It is only CIA people who say, “I work for the Government” with no clarification. Don’t you love The Swamp?

Defending Brit-Brit?

This is a weird moment…I feel the need to smack the tabloids and semi-defend Britney Spears. Yes, I know this is weird even to me and it feels slightly dirty…but it must be done.

I saw the strange slow-motion train wreck of a dance routine on CNN, MSNBC and tons of other sites. I laughed…guffawed really …the bad hair weave, the poor dancing, the obvious lip synch issue she was having…oh and my favorite, her Super Sparkle Vicky’s Secret Bra and Panty Set. Nothing says classy like a sparkly bra and panty offset by knee high boots and fishnets.

What is my issue with media coverage? I hate that they are calling her FAT! Was Brit-Brit super skinny hyper toned…no, she wasn’t. But FAT? Really? For a scary, one step-up from trailer trash, pop star who popped out 2 kids in about 2 years, she is impressively svelte. I saw no bulges of cellulite…no massive fat gut…there may have been painted on abs…but she was NOT FAT!

Calling Britney in her current (probably drug addled) state massive, fat, ugly…for fucking stupid ass Jay (no so slim)Leno to call her fat…that is just WRONG! We wonder why there has been a massive upswing in eating disorders in both men and women in this country? In my nightmares my possible future daughters would idolize this living train wreck or worse yet dress like her. Does she deserve scorn? Yes, in many ways she does for her stupid ass choices as a mother, pop-star and now ex-wife to an asshat wannabe rapper. To imply her NORMAL, if somewhat borderline on fitness body, is FAT is fucking up women and girls all over this county who already struggle with how they look. MEDIA: Please focus on what is worth the scorn…it’s not her BMI…it’s her F-ed up life choices!

Why Dating Studies Suck!

Why do I read articles about dating, dating studies and relationship crap? It's like my own personal self-doubt created hell...self-induced psyche trauma...you would think I would learn by now! I need a negative Pavlov response or something to stop the behavior.

I’m single and for the most part happy with that situation, or deluding myself…it could be either. There are the, “Is something wrong with me?” days that creep up every now and again, usually linked to hormones, or some random “I’m Almost 30” moment, but so it goes. Then there are the moments where I’m fine and whilst blissfully clicking news sites and internet links I start reading useless studies on dating that pose as real news that tell me things like, “Men go for looks.” Really? Huh, I would have never guessed that. Thank you German scientists! Better yet, links to the perils of online dating…which I should avoid since I half-ass use an online dating site. My favorite was a study filled with terrible statistic for future generations of women who will be unable to marry due to reduced male birthrates. I can’t find the link on that one, but on my honor (take it for what it’s worth) there is such a study and it was DEPRESSING!

Maybe I’ve watched too much Heavy Petting in the City (My special name for the cleaned up for non-cable Sex in the City episodes that start after 11 on th local channels) or read one too many dating articles, but dating advice/media depictions are totally contradictory. I’m supposed to be happy and okay with being single, but then they throw out trite stupid advice that sucks me into reading it and then I get pissed. And why is it always lists of Top 5 dating signs. Is it because the smaller numbers are easier for the desperate to remember or maybe 10 is to hard for trite advice columnists?

Moral of this post: FroggerGirl like every other human on the planet has issues and she needs to stop reading stupid fluff pieces on the internet about dating…or you poor people will be subjected to her dating rants forever, and none of us want that!

SERIOUSLY no tag backs!

As my office buddy KK would say, "Sen. Craig needs to sit his happy ass down!" I'm probably a little behind the news cycle after the long weekend....but even that can't explain how schizoid the Sen. Craig news has been:

1.) Sen. Craig says, “I’m not gay, I was entrapped!”

2.)Then it was,”I’m going to resign…no wait I’m going to fight it and stay in Congress!”

3.)Followed by, “Congress and the GOP, please stop investigating me for moral turpitude.”

4.)Finally thanks to anonymous aids, “Well he was going to step down anyway, so no big whoop.”

SERIOUSLY! I say yet again for the second time in one day…NO TAG BACKS! Playground rules definitely apply in politic…don’t make me enforce a time out in the corner!

Does anybody really care?

Do you care if Mr. Law and Order Actor Man runs for President? I don't...I refuse to get scared or care before the primaries. The GOP has bigger worries and issues than Fred Thompson. He ducked a debate to hang out with Jay Leno. That right there reduces the modicum of respect I had for him. Dude, you picked Jay Leno…he’s not even FUNNY! At least announce on a show with a funny man, or some level or public respect.

No Tag Backs!

Maybe it's just me...but tag, politics and life works the same. No tag backs, no do-overs and minimal take backs. You do not resign and then say, "Oops, I didn’t mean it...not I think I can squeak this one out!” Seriously? When you say, "I QUIT" and go down in flames, it’s OVER!. Sen. Craig is not Cher (even though he may be a closet wannabe Cher lover), there is no unending career and tour schedule. Come on! Go back to Idaho, sit down, learn how to knit or something… JEEZ!

Not so little cabin in the woods…

Thank to the Princezz and her uber generous boss, FG got to spend Labor Day Weekend in the wilds of West Virginia (WV) with a great group of people in a beautiful gated mountainside vacation area. The cabin was massive and pretty insulated from the neighbor houses/cabins. You almost felt isolated, but not so much…just ask the crazy gate guards. There was the large lodge like atmosphere with a fireplace, plenty of beds for tired heads and most of the comforts of home. Electricity, indoor plumbing (and plenty of it!) and lots of supplies made the 3 day weekend great! We were near the Canaan Valley Park area and it was lovely.

I fear to admit this for the harassment I might get from siblings and the like, but I have a fondness for John Denver. Not so much of a fondness that I own his collected works, but a fondness none the less. I think it’s because my all time favorite Christmas album is still John Denver and the Muppets Christmas and my Mom used to play some of his other works on car rides...I will refrain from quoting The Way We Were here. Why the John Denver connection? As I was driving back home and at various points over the weekend I had the song Take Me Home Country Roads running through me head…or what bits and pieces of that song I remembered would be more accurate.

Primarily the bits about how lovely WV is and the mountains and green loveliness swirled through my thoughts as I admired the scenery and wildlife. Well, there were the less picturesque views of massive mining operations and the huge double smokestacks of the major power plant, and the strange road side Redneck stand…but I digress. For as much ribbing as WV gets, it is a major green, leafy wonderland to enjoy. I love the Great Outdoors, but I have never been Nature Girl. What does that mean? I like light hikes and being surrounded by the woods, but when the 15 mile or more hike was taken on Saturday, FG stayed behind to relax. I did take a much shorter, kinder walk in the gated compound among the trees and such, but massive hike was a no go.

I do hope that through the Princezz and her rockin’ connections there is hope for another return trip. Next time I would love to wander the greater parks and wilds of WV and maybe take a shorter hike in the mountains and such. I now realize why folks in the DC are vacation up in WV. Overall this was one of the best long weekend excursions I have taken in a long time. Totally worth the drive and the loss of squirrel life on the way home. Little Squirrel RIP, you are the only downer moment of my trip.

Diaper Free?

I’m officially ripping off my friend Princezz O’Phun’s blog topics. Her blog on this was short and sweet, mine as per my usual style, a bit drawn out.

Ever hear of the diaper free baby movement? Like Princezz, I find this idea just plain weird and a bit gross. Over the last 3-4 months, I have seen at least 5 separate news profiles on this. Nightline, The Sunday Morning Show on CBS and at least 3 other Odd News/Human Interest profile spots appeared on news shows. Now, these profiles range in their entertainment and news angles, “Aren’t these ladies crazy? Silly women, probably lazy.” or “My God, the poor babies. This must be terrible for their health.” Or one of my favorites a pundit fearing for the overall mental stability of babies subjected to this. Of course all the practitioners they interview are stay-at-home Moms that seem to fall into 2 distinct categories. Many Moms’ are new arrivals from the career race and seem to be desperately trying to find meaning in the Mommy thing. This gives them a weird level of Mommy street cred, like they are the forgers of a new path. The other Mommy faction seems to be more hippy influenced in their child rearing. Diapers liberate their children from man made bonds AND it helps the environment so their loving Mommy rep is still ok.

A movement predicated on taking the semi-conscious still growing babies and forcing them to pee on the toilet, some especially made for little baby butts, seems absolutely bat-shit crazy to me. Cloth diapers are just as environmentally friendly, so you can stop the save the Earth spiel, I don’t buy it. Hell, I’ll probably be buying the evil polluting diapers when I have a kids….FG does not relish the idea of handling poop on a cloth diaper. Also, the amount of time spent hovering over the child or setting them on the potty to see if they need to pee…BABIES ARE NOT ABLE TO TELL YOU THIS!!! One mother on the news said she can tell from cooing noises when her little bundle needs to tinkle. Don’t all babies freaking coo all the live long day? I am not prepared to be a baby whisperer just so I can rush my child to the potty when it can’t even hold it's head up by it's own power. And don’t even get me started on the whole Baby Whisperer phenomena, which seems to feed into this diaper free thing. CRAZY!

Babies are supposed to be incontinent, crying, laughing, eating, adorable, poop machines…it’s what they do…it’s why we have them! Why change a perfectly functional baby to adult growth pattern...why rush the potty? I just don't get it, which is probably a good thing for any kids I have. Less potty trauma.

Post Traumatic Balloon Syndrome (PTBS)

That is one fun acronym isn’t, with BS in it, which is semi-relevant since that’s what my blog can be full of sometimes! On a more serious note (if you can call it that), the DSM-IV may have to be my guide to explain my fear and dislike of balloons. The FroggerGirl really hates balloons…and that is not normal by the informal poll conducted at my place of work. What is bringing on the sudden need to rant out my balloon abhorrence? I had to help blow-up and tie off a shit-load of balloons for an office party and I was confronted with my hatred/fear of the rubber baddies from hell!

At least once a month, sometimes with a longer break in between, my Real Estate Brokerage holds this schmooze party for agents. Apparently the height of class for this event is to fill the place up with our brokerage signature color balloons. This means time at the helium tank and prolonged balloon play. I HATE THIS! Why, you may be asking yourself, would a perfectly rational adult woman be afraid of balloons? Well here are the reasons:

1.) As many of you know FG (that’s me) hates loud sudden noises, they scare the bejesus out of her. What happens when balloons pop? Yeah, you get the picture. Plus balloons pop when overfilled, near heat, if they brush against the sprinkler, or if a little Angel or Satan Spawn gets a hold of one. Not to mention the noise that comes from a sudden loss of air pressure when tying off the end. NOT COOL!

2.) They smell bad. To FroggerGirl they smell like plastic polluting crud. And the smell evokes a bad taste when you blow them up. Enough said.

3.) They are floating harbingers of doom. Perhaps it was years of being warned about the choking hazard that balloons pose when popped/deflated, or the tales of permanent brain damage/death by people over huffing helium. Whatever the reason they do not evoke fuzzy feelings. Well, unless they are super sassy Mylar balloons, those for some reason I kind of like until they deflate, and then it’s like dead flowers…just no good comes of them.

The last fear I have is a corollary fear that happens when I have to make ribbon curls. Apparently an uncurled ribbon at this agent event is very déclassé so again lots of time spent with the scissors making curls. I fear slicing off a digit while curling ribbon. Again, irrational due to the nature of most office scissors and the kind of pressure applied on the ribbon, but it flashes through my head.

To sum up, if you love FroggerGirl, NEVER give her balloons, or make her spend time with balloons. If there is a Hell that is personalized then mine will have lots of popping balloons…and the terrible out of tune piss poor excuse for R&B music they play a the agent schmooze party. GAH!

When the Rainbow Smacks the Red State Man

Is it just me or is anyone else finding it a little funny how many GOP politicians, many who loudly decry homosexuals and gay rights, have been caught up in homo-erotic or outright homosexual sex scandals? That’s not even including the straight sex scandals with prostitutes and the like. I suppose if you’re going to be a hypocrite, you might as well go down in flames (no pun or gay joke intended) when you’re found out.

Let’s just for fun look at Sen. Craig from Super Red State Idaho. Now, he is screaming from the roof tops, “I am NOT gay!” OK, so there is some room for doubt on this particular charge since he was not caught in flagrante delicto but what he did do seems pretty darn odd if he wasn’t intending to have a little man on man nookie. So let’s see, first you played footsy and handy hand grab with the guy in the stall next to you. When he was discovered to be a cop, you hand him your Senator’s business card to try to intimidate him. THEN, you plead guilty to, “Just make it go away”, and you lacked correct legal representation. NOW, you say that nothing bad was done. OK, worst case you were hinting at committing and illegal act…so I guess by the letter of the law you didn’t violate it too badly, right? Also, you didn’t have correct legal representation? Did you even bother to seek it? I mean, in my mind congressional types usually have the money, influence and access to some of the best legal minds in the world. So, I think you may have just been lazy or scared that this major piece of shit stupid behavior would hit the fan faster if you had legal help and thus greater exposure at the time. Again, I may be wrong, but I have no sympathy for Sen. Craig. He is rich, white, privileged and apparently STUPID and that is nothing to pity, but something to revile.

To me and my apparently unforgiving moral compass the fact that this foolish politician is being investigated is justice on some level. I also find comfort that his hypocrisy will probably cost him his seat, which will probably still be retained by a Republican, but not all justice is perfect. And before any GOP fans or others call me out as a liberal with blood lust, take note my moral compass would be the same on the forgiveness front if this was a Democrat. To me both parties have made lots of mistakes and no one is above the ramifications of hypocrisy and stupidity, no matter if your Red, Blue or Rainbow hued.

WTF: Real Estate Edition 1

As many know, despite a serious education and interest in Political stuff, FroggerGirl ended up in Real Estate in the Swamp of DC. Yeah, it may be cliché, but it’s worked out so far and there is a lot to enjoy. Who knows what else the future holds, but be prepared for random rants on the Real Estate market, life and agents…hell there will soon be post about how the practically albino FroggerGirl became an adopted light skinned black cousin in her all African American office, but I digress…

Here is the first of many rants: There is a lot of f**ked up situations that can happen in Real Estate. Especially mortgage stuff, where regulations are often overlooked and some truly shady people work. Now as with all forms of life, not all mortgage people are bad, but there can be super rotten apples in the mortgage barrel that ruin all the good pie baking apples for everyone! The Metropolitan Money Store is one of those super rotten, extra stinky, really bad apples. The article in the Washington Post pretty much speaks for itself. I was almost falling out of my chair at some of the ridiculous shi-poopy that these people tried did…and almost no one called them on it for over a year!

The most random part about this bizarre sad real estate scam…I know people who got sucked in and it’s a very sad situation. The lady who helped plan the massive, kind of ghetto, money crazy stripper’s dream wedding for the scammers (this was all before the scam was uncovered) is an agent who got slapped with some spillage from this mess. It’s just so totally unbeleivably bad, that schadenfreude is inevitable. I mean a stripper called Night Rider becomes a millionaire by in essence ripping off hard working African Americans….how is that the American Dream. GOD, it just makes me want to smack some people upside the head. Sometimes people suck!