I’m officially ripping off my friend Princezz O’Phun’s blog topics. Her blog on this was short and sweet, mine as per my usual style, a bit drawn out.
Ever hear of the diaper free baby movement? Like Princezz, I find this idea just plain weird and a bit gross. Over the last 3-4 months, I have seen at least 5 separate news profiles on this. Nightline, The Sunday Morning Show on CBS and at least 3 other Odd News/Human Interest profile spots appeared on news shows. Now, these profiles range in their entertainment and news angles, “Aren’t these ladies crazy? Silly women, probably lazy.” or “My God, the poor babies. This must be terrible for their health.” Or one of my favorites a pundit fearing for the overall mental stability of babies subjected to this. Of course all the practitioners they interview are stay-at-home Moms that seem to fall into 2 distinct categories. Many Moms’ are new arrivals from the career race and seem to be desperately trying to find meaning in the Mommy thing. This gives them a weird level of Mommy street cred, like they are the forgers of a new path. The other Mommy faction seems to be more hippy influenced in their child rearing. Diapers liberate their children from man made bonds AND it helps the environment so their loving Mommy rep is still ok.
A movement predicated on taking the semi-conscious still growing babies and forcing them to pee on the toilet, some especially made for little baby butts, seems absolutely bat-shit crazy to me. Cloth diapers are just as environmentally friendly, so you can stop the save the Earth spiel, I don’t buy it. Hell, I’ll probably be buying the evil polluting diapers when I have a kids….FG does not relish the idea of handling poop on a cloth diaper. Also, the amount of time spent hovering over the child or setting them on the potty to see if they need to pee…BABIES ARE NOT ABLE TO TELL YOU THIS!!! One mother on the news said she can tell from cooing noises when her little bundle needs to tinkle. Don’t all babies freaking coo all the live long day? I am not prepared to be a baby whisperer just so I can rush my child to the potty when it can’t even hold it's head up by it's own power. And don’t even get me started on the whole Baby Whisperer phenomena, which seems to feed into this diaper free thing. CRAZY!
Babies are supposed to be incontinent, crying, laughing, eating, adorable, poop machines…it’s what they do…it’s why we have them! Why change a perfectly functional baby to adult growth pattern...why rush the potty? I just don't get it, which is probably a good thing for any kids I have. Less potty trauma.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Post Traumatic Balloon Syndrome (PTBS)
That is one fun acronym isn’t, with BS in it, which is semi-relevant since that’s what my blog can be full of sometimes! On a more serious note (if you can call it that), the DSM-IV may have to be my guide to explain my fear and dislike of balloons. The FroggerGirl really hates balloons…and that is not normal by the informal poll conducted at my place of work. What is bringing on the sudden need to rant out my balloon abhorrence? I had to help blow-up and tie off a shit-load of balloons for an office party and I was confronted with my hatred/fear of the rubber baddies from hell!
At least once a month, sometimes with a longer break in between, my Real Estate Brokerage holds this schmooze party for agents. Apparently the height of class for this event is to fill the place up with our brokerage signature color balloons. This means time at the helium tank and prolonged balloon play. I HATE THIS! Why, you may be asking yourself, would a perfectly rational adult woman be afraid of balloons? Well here are the reasons:
1.) As many of you know FG (that’s me) hates loud sudden noises, they scare the bejesus out of her. What happens when balloons pop? Yeah, you get the picture. Plus balloons pop when overfilled, near heat, if they brush against the sprinkler, or if a little Angel or Satan Spawn gets a hold of one. Not to mention the noise that comes from a sudden loss of air pressure when tying off the end. NOT COOL!
2.) They smell bad. To FroggerGirl they smell like plastic polluting crud. And the smell evokes a bad taste when you blow them up. Enough said.
3.) They are floating harbingers of doom. Perhaps it was years of being warned about the choking hazard that balloons pose when popped/deflated, or the tales of permanent brain damage/death by people over huffing helium. Whatever the reason they do not evoke fuzzy feelings. Well, unless they are super sassy Mylar balloons, those for some reason I kind of like until they deflate, and then it’s like dead flowers…just no good comes of them.
The last fear I have is a corollary fear that happens when I have to make ribbon curls. Apparently an uncurled ribbon at this agent event is very déclassé so again lots of time spent with the scissors making curls. I fear slicing off a digit while curling ribbon. Again, irrational due to the nature of most office scissors and the kind of pressure applied on the ribbon, but it flashes through my head.
To sum up, if you love FroggerGirl, NEVER give her balloons, or make her spend time with balloons. If there is a Hell that is personalized then mine will have lots of popping balloons…and the terrible out of tune piss poor excuse for R&B music they play a the agent schmooze party. GAH!
At least once a month, sometimes with a longer break in between, my Real Estate Brokerage holds this schmooze party for agents. Apparently the height of class for this event is to fill the place up with our brokerage signature color balloons. This means time at the helium tank and prolonged balloon play. I HATE THIS! Why, you may be asking yourself, would a perfectly rational adult woman be afraid of balloons? Well here are the reasons:
1.) As many of you know FG (that’s me) hates loud sudden noises, they scare the bejesus out of her. What happens when balloons pop? Yeah, you get the picture. Plus balloons pop when overfilled, near heat, if they brush against the sprinkler, or if a little Angel or Satan Spawn gets a hold of one. Not to mention the noise that comes from a sudden loss of air pressure when tying off the end. NOT COOL!
2.) They smell bad. To FroggerGirl they smell like plastic polluting crud. And the smell evokes a bad taste when you blow them up. Enough said.
3.) They are floating harbingers of doom. Perhaps it was years of being warned about the choking hazard that balloons pose when popped/deflated, or the tales of permanent brain damage/death by people over huffing helium. Whatever the reason they do not evoke fuzzy feelings. Well, unless they are super sassy Mylar balloons, those for some reason I kind of like until they deflate, and then it’s like dead flowers…just no good comes of them.
The last fear I have is a corollary fear that happens when I have to make ribbon curls. Apparently an uncurled ribbon at this agent event is very déclassé so again lots of time spent with the scissors making curls. I fear slicing off a digit while curling ribbon. Again, irrational due to the nature of most office scissors and the kind of pressure applied on the ribbon, but it flashes through my head.
To sum up, if you love FroggerGirl, NEVER give her balloons, or make her spend time with balloons. If there is a Hell that is personalized then mine will have lots of popping balloons…and the terrible out of tune piss poor excuse for R&B music they play a the agent schmooze party. GAH!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
When the Rainbow Smacks the Red State Man
Is it just me or is anyone else finding it a little funny how many GOP politicians, many who loudly decry homosexuals and gay rights, have been caught up in homo-erotic or outright homosexual sex scandals? That’s not even including the straight sex scandals with prostitutes and the like. I suppose if you’re going to be a hypocrite, you might as well go down in flames (no pun or gay joke intended) when you’re found out.
Let’s just for fun look at Sen. Craig from Super Red State Idaho. Now, he is screaming from the roof tops, “I am NOT gay!” OK, so there is some room for doubt on this particular charge since he was not caught in flagrante delicto but what he did do seems pretty darn odd if he wasn’t intending to have a little man on man nookie. So let’s see, first you played footsy and handy hand grab with the guy in the stall next to you. When he was discovered to be a cop, you hand him your Senator’s business card to try to intimidate him. THEN, you plead guilty to, “Just make it go away”, and you lacked correct legal representation. NOW, you say that nothing bad was done. OK, worst case you were hinting at committing and illegal act…so I guess by the letter of the law you didn’t violate it too badly, right? Also, you didn’t have correct legal representation? Did you even bother to seek it? I mean, in my mind congressional types usually have the money, influence and access to some of the best legal minds in the world. So, I think you may have just been lazy or scared that this major piece of shit stupid behavior would hit the fan faster if you had legal help and thus greater exposure at the time. Again, I may be wrong, but I have no sympathy for Sen. Craig. He is rich, white, privileged and apparently STUPID and that is nothing to pity, but something to revile.
To me and my apparently unforgiving moral compass the fact that this foolish politician is being investigated is justice on some level. I also find comfort that his hypocrisy will probably cost him his seat, which will probably still be retained by a Republican, but not all justice is perfect. And before any GOP fans or others call me out as a liberal with blood lust, take note my moral compass would be the same on the forgiveness front if this was a Democrat. To me both parties have made lots of mistakes and no one is above the ramifications of hypocrisy and stupidity, no matter if your Red, Blue or Rainbow hued.
Let’s just for fun look at Sen. Craig from Super Red State Idaho. Now, he is screaming from the roof tops, “I am NOT gay!” OK, so there is some room for doubt on this particular charge since he was not caught in flagrante delicto but what he did do seems pretty darn odd if he wasn’t intending to have a little man on man nookie. So let’s see, first you played footsy and handy hand grab with the guy in the stall next to you. When he was discovered to be a cop, you hand him your Senator’s business card to try to intimidate him. THEN, you plead guilty to, “Just make it go away”, and you lacked correct legal representation. NOW, you say that nothing bad was done. OK, worst case you were hinting at committing and illegal act…so I guess by the letter of the law you didn’t violate it too badly, right? Also, you didn’t have correct legal representation? Did you even bother to seek it? I mean, in my mind congressional types usually have the money, influence and access to some of the best legal minds in the world. So, I think you may have just been lazy or scared that this major piece of shit stupid behavior would hit the fan faster if you had legal help and thus greater exposure at the time. Again, I may be wrong, but I have no sympathy for Sen. Craig. He is rich, white, privileged and apparently STUPID and that is nothing to pity, but something to revile.
To me and my apparently unforgiving moral compass the fact that this foolish politician is being investigated is justice on some level. I also find comfort that his hypocrisy will probably cost him his seat, which will probably still be retained by a Republican, but not all justice is perfect. And before any GOP fans or others call me out as a liberal with blood lust, take note my moral compass would be the same on the forgiveness front if this was a Democrat. To me both parties have made lots of mistakes and no one is above the ramifications of hypocrisy and stupidity, no matter if your Red, Blue or Rainbow hued.
Monday, August 27, 2007
WTF: Real Estate Edition 1
As many know, despite a serious education and interest in Political stuff, FroggerGirl ended up in Real Estate in the Swamp of DC. Yeah, it may be cliché, but it’s worked out so far and there is a lot to enjoy. Who knows what else the future holds, but be prepared for random rants on the Real Estate market, life and agents…hell there will soon be post about how the practically albino FroggerGirl became an adopted light skinned black cousin in her all African American office, but I digress…
Here is the first of many rants: There is a lot of f**ked up situations that can happen in Real Estate. Especially mortgage stuff, where regulations are often overlooked and some truly shady people work. Now as with all forms of life, not all mortgage people are bad, but there can be super rotten apples in the mortgage barrel that ruin all the good pie baking apples for everyone! The Metropolitan Money Store is one of those super rotten, extra stinky, really bad apples. The article in the Washington Post pretty much speaks for itself. I was almost falling out of my chair at some of the ridiculous shi-poopy that these people tried did…and almost no one called them on it for over a year!
The most random part about this bizarre sad real estate scam…I know people who got sucked in and it’s a very sad situation. The lady who helped plan the massive, kind of ghetto, money crazy stripper’s dream wedding for the scammers (this was all before the scam was uncovered) is an agent who got slapped with some spillage from this mess. It’s just so totally unbeleivably bad, that schadenfreude is inevitable. I mean a stripper called Night Rider becomes a millionaire by in essence ripping off hard working African Americans….how is that the American Dream. GOD, it just makes me want to smack some people upside the head. Sometimes people suck!
Here is the first of many rants: There is a lot of f**ked up situations that can happen in Real Estate. Especially mortgage stuff, where regulations are often overlooked and some truly shady people work. Now as with all forms of life, not all mortgage people are bad, but there can be super rotten apples in the mortgage barrel that ruin all the good pie baking apples for everyone! The Metropolitan Money Store is one of those super rotten, extra stinky, really bad apples. The article in the Washington Post pretty much speaks for itself. I was almost falling out of my chair at some of the ridiculous shi-poopy that these people tried did…and almost no one called them on it for over a year!
The most random part about this bizarre sad real estate scam…I know people who got sucked in and it’s a very sad situation. The lady who helped plan the massive, kind of ghetto, money crazy stripper’s dream wedding for the scammers (this was all before the scam was uncovered) is an agent who got slapped with some spillage from this mess. It’s just so totally unbeleivably bad, that schadenfreude is inevitable. I mean a stripper called Night Rider becomes a millionaire by in essence ripping off hard working African Americans….how is that the American Dream. GOD, it just makes me want to smack some people upside the head. Sometimes people suck!
Jump Ship NOW, The Life Boats are Getting Full!
Holly crap it’s like the Bush Administration is the Titanic, but none of the crew will go down with the ship, they probably threw a few kids out of the life boats on their way out. First Tony Snow the mouthpiece…out b/c of financial concerns. Then Rove…freaking Satan of the RNC bows out for God only knows why, probably to try in vain to help some other corrupted soul get into power. Now Alberto Gonzalez…well he gave no official reason but I think it’s because he’s a lying liar who lies, or has a specific form of amnesia caused by Congressional proceedings. Either way, that’s not good if you are supposed to embody all that is fair and right in the Justice Dept.
Now mind you this man had potential, well in some Universe. He was the first Hispanic to hold the job, he was clearly smart, but he made the choice to go become Darth Gonzalez and mess with the Judiciary system. What freaks me out…Bush wanted this guy on the Supreme Court. THE SUPREME COURT!!! It boggles the mind to even consider it.
NPR, which consistently rocks, had some fascinating insight on this. The timing is terrible for any replacement. Democrats AND Republicans are pissed at the Bush Administration attempts at bullying and manipulating the Attorney General post, so you know that a little Pet Friend from Texas is not getting this job. I’m going to tap my sometimes psychic abilities and just throw out to the world that there will me months of drawn out debate, name calling and confirmation hearing for our viewing pleasure. Add that to the joys of the earliest campaign season in History, and that just make FroggerGirl want to hid under the covers for a while, or at least reduce some of her politics induced stress down here in the DC swamp.
Gotta Love Politics!
Now mind you this man had potential, well in some Universe. He was the first Hispanic to hold the job, he was clearly smart, but he made the choice to go become Darth Gonzalez and mess with the Judiciary system. What freaks me out…Bush wanted this guy on the Supreme Court. THE SUPREME COURT!!! It boggles the mind to even consider it.
NPR, which consistently rocks, had some fascinating insight on this. The timing is terrible for any replacement. Democrats AND Republicans are pissed at the Bush Administration attempts at bullying and manipulating the Attorney General post, so you know that a little Pet Friend from Texas is not getting this job. I’m going to tap my sometimes psychic abilities and just throw out to the world that there will me months of drawn out debate, name calling and confirmation hearing for our viewing pleasure. Add that to the joys of the earliest campaign season in History, and that just make FroggerGirl want to hid under the covers for a while, or at least reduce some of her politics induced stress down here in the DC swamp.
Gotta Love Politics!
Can there be a cool Wedding Shower?
There are many reasons this totally random topic is on my mind. 1.) FroggerGirl is getting older and it’s harder to ignore that her friends are growing up too and doing adult things like Marriage. 2.) The little green lady attended the Couple’s Shower of some friends who are getting married in 2 weeks.
The lovely couple of friends, who shall be called Multi-Cultural Duo, who are getting married very soon are oldish friends. I’ve known them since Grad School and I even lived with the female half of the duo in the Snowing Northland of Syracuse, so there is love for both of them and a great deal of happiness for their future. This past weekend was a Couples Shower, which was kind of an awkward naming…it was not meant only for couples, but it was targeted that way in some of the names of the invited and the tone of the event. There were a number of couples, and a number of females hales of married/committed duos that went solo for the event. However, the couples tone was a bit of a downer for a few in attendance…including the FroggerGirl, who still lacks the special FrogBoy, but I digress.
It has been my feeling for years that most men would rather have their eye teeth pulled than attend a shower. Let’s face it, showers tend to be girlie affairs, even when aimed at a couple. Frilly cakes, lots of gifts, usually of the Susie Homemaker variety and if your REALLY lucky cheesy-ass games (Bow Bouquet anyone?) and old wives tales to enjoy (you know like if you break a ribbon on a present that’s one child the couple will have) and prolong the estrogen high atmosphere. I think it takes a special guy to get super excited over bowl, towels and all the kitchen homey stuff that is gifted.
I am of the belief that no matter how cool, progressive and wonderful you are (like Multi-Cultural Duo) all the old clichés of Bridal and Wedding Showers come to bear. You will be bombarded by mostly women bearing gifts (except for me b/c I took the invitation at its word on the whole no gifts needed thing) and there will be those who will present the awkward pop quiz about the Wedding, your Marriage into the future and the all important, “So, when are you having kids?” questions. Also, you will be forced to sit there and open presents in front of everyone, with all the social pressure that includes to you, and your audience, who frankly on average are not super interested in the bowls and such unless they gave it to you. Maybe if I had been drinking the excitement would have been ramped up a bit, but for as much fun as I had there were lulls.
These experience great the mixed feelings of fear/dread for if/when I have to go through this myself. Happiness for the success and love of the Multi-Cultural Duo and all the others I know/love who are doing this crazy life commitment thing. There is also a touch of, “What the Hell” on the whole process, because I may be a woman, but it’s mystifying.
The lovely couple of friends, who shall be called Multi-Cultural Duo, who are getting married very soon are oldish friends. I’ve known them since Grad School and I even lived with the female half of the duo in the Snowing Northland of Syracuse, so there is love for both of them and a great deal of happiness for their future. This past weekend was a Couples Shower, which was kind of an awkward naming…it was not meant only for couples, but it was targeted that way in some of the names of the invited and the tone of the event. There were a number of couples, and a number of females hales of married/committed duos that went solo for the event. However, the couples tone was a bit of a downer for a few in attendance…including the FroggerGirl, who still lacks the special FrogBoy, but I digress.
It has been my feeling for years that most men would rather have their eye teeth pulled than attend a shower. Let’s face it, showers tend to be girlie affairs, even when aimed at a couple. Frilly cakes, lots of gifts, usually of the Susie Homemaker variety and if your REALLY lucky cheesy-ass games (Bow Bouquet anyone?) and old wives tales to enjoy (you know like if you break a ribbon on a present that’s one child the couple will have) and prolong the estrogen high atmosphere. I think it takes a special guy to get super excited over bowl, towels and all the kitchen homey stuff that is gifted.
I am of the belief that no matter how cool, progressive and wonderful you are (like Multi-Cultural Duo) all the old clichés of Bridal and Wedding Showers come to bear. You will be bombarded by mostly women bearing gifts (except for me b/c I took the invitation at its word on the whole no gifts needed thing) and there will be those who will present the awkward pop quiz about the Wedding, your Marriage into the future and the all important, “So, when are you having kids?” questions. Also, you will be forced to sit there and open presents in front of everyone, with all the social pressure that includes to you, and your audience, who frankly on average are not super interested in the bowls and such unless they gave it to you. Maybe if I had been drinking the excitement would have been ramped up a bit, but for as much fun as I had there were lulls.
These experience great the mixed feelings of fear/dread for if/when I have to go through this myself. Happiness for the success and love of the Multi-Cultural Duo and all the others I know/love who are doing this crazy life commitment thing. There is also a touch of, “What the Hell” on the whole process, because I may be a woman, but it’s mystifying.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Classic Henchmen
This clip always makes me laugh. I can actually picture certain friends of mine having the is argument. Plus, Smurf's are involved.
The Perils for Little Ol'Me and Internet Dating...
Yeah, so here is an important warning to Tadpoles, FrogBoys and FrogGirls contemplating the wilds of online date and friend making... For every great normal person you meet or date, there seem to be a range of big ol' freaks, like the profoundly socially awkward in disguise as witty avatars online and a list of other less than peachy kinds to meet.
Example: A sweet slightly chubby fellow, who shall now be called Comic Book Guy, or CBG for short, decided to start emailing little old me through the Onion Personals and at first it was nice. Certain guy criteria (minimal requirements for Ms. FroggerGirl) were met, he was smart (PhD candidate), attractive in the nerdy kind of way, etc… He seemed funny, even charming in the geeky dorky way I like so much. He joked about his height (short at 5’4” but not terrible) and his Jewish heritage was mentioned with jokes abounding. IM and emails followed and all seemed on a good course until….
Now, gentle reader I had warning signs of what was about to happen. I shrugged off a random freak-out by CBG caused by him interpreting my slow reply time to emails and such as a lack of interest/personal slight, and not remembering I had warned him I was on vacation, then was back at my job, and had limited computer time. FroggerGirl is not heartless (peanut gallery can be quiet) and decided to give CBG a second chance, figuring this was a bit overwhelming for him, which CBG agreed it was.
The problems started, as they always seem to in the Internet scenario with the first phone call. That first interaction with a person that is not dictated by a keyboard and having plenty of time to compose thoughts for an email, or being able to blame IM for errors in thought/comments. The phone call is often the death knell of these brief flames of internet interest. I was prepared for a nerdy CBG, who had warned me he had some nervousness with women and wanted to share some details on what he told me was a back issue. Yeah, this wasn’t just regular girl caused nerves or a minor back issue. THIS MAN WAS FREAKING SOCIALLY INEPT! Within the first 5 minutes I was informed of horrific girl related fainting episodes and told he, "Thought he was ok, even though he was a bit lightheaded." Now this may have been a compliment, but I actually think he was about to faint, which is not actually all that complimentary to a girl.
His back issue was MAJOR and there are like 5 different degenerative back ailments going on and major back surgery has occurred and will again. He has asthma, terrible eye sight and apparetnly a long list of ailments for our talking pleasure. Now, he was trying to be flirty and hinted at sexual stuff here too like, "I know I sound fragile, but I promise I'm sturdier stuff and good for cuddles and otehr stuff." followed by a few other attempts at flirt/sexy talk. All I could think is, "Sex...seriously dude you are lucky to even be walking...Sex? Really? I would break you, and that's assuming I wasn't just toally grossed out by some of what I have heard and would want to have physical anything with you. GOD HELP ME!!!!"
He had made jokes in an email that he didn’t drive b/c he wanted to save humanity from his driving. FroggerGirl interprets this as funny ha ha, he has some tickets and such on his record. Oh no, he has major depth perception issues and has wrecked 3-4 cars due to this problem. FYI, for any FrogBoys reading this saying, “My Dad is probably borderline Autistic or has a personality disorder. I had a cold childhood and I think I may have inherited some of his traits.” Is not a way to impress a lady, especially when she can’t tell if you joking and is then lead to believe you are not. So alas, the horror continued for too long b/c I was way too nice and couldn’t figure out a good lie to get off the phone.
Crazy me, I agree early in the conversation ,before the train wreck nature of this whole crazy thing comes to light, to go to dinner on Sunday with CBG. Totally regretted that decision by minute 20 on the phone. I decide after consulting the Princezz and other trusted friends, that I’ll give CBG a chance, maybe he was just super nervous? Maybe I’m too nice?
Anyhow, things get EVEN WEIRDER! In less than 24 hours I get about 6 emails ranging from, “Excited about Dinner” to “You can cancel if you want” to “Here is a list of places to meet other dorky guys” to my FAVORITE “I was on pain pills when I wrote those emails please don’t cancel on me” Plus, there was an attempt by CBG to call at like 11pm on a work night, which I ignored b/c, well, I'm a bitch and just couldn't face another phone call. Now, I'm a forgiving understanding person, but this was F**cking NUTS!
So, no date on Sunday for FroggerGirl b/c she reached her weird quota for like months to come. No sir, not going to happen. Apparently my rejection, which I thought was awfully nice and understanding via email, has crushed CBG. I was informed he was through with online dating, and that he probably wouldn’t date for 1-2 years. Yes kids, I have that kind of power, I can crush a man’s dating soul for years without ever having met him and only one phone call. Way to go me and my female powers!
So lesson learned, I am going to encounter my fair share of the freak patrol when online, but I can at least cope with it through humor…and now a blog for the random masses to read. FUN for ALL! Now my massive rant is done…until the next moment of horror to share!
Example: A sweet slightly chubby fellow, who shall now be called Comic Book Guy, or CBG for short, decided to start emailing little old me through the Onion Personals and at first it was nice. Certain guy criteria (minimal requirements for Ms. FroggerGirl) were met, he was smart (PhD candidate), attractive in the nerdy kind of way, etc… He seemed funny, even charming in the geeky dorky way I like so much. He joked about his height (short at 5’4” but not terrible) and his Jewish heritage was mentioned with jokes abounding. IM and emails followed and all seemed on a good course until….
Now, gentle reader I had warning signs of what was about to happen. I shrugged off a random freak-out by CBG caused by him interpreting my slow reply time to emails and such as a lack of interest/personal slight, and not remembering I had warned him I was on vacation, then was back at my job, and had limited computer time. FroggerGirl is not heartless (peanut gallery can be quiet) and decided to give CBG a second chance, figuring this was a bit overwhelming for him, which CBG agreed it was.
The problems started, as they always seem to in the Internet scenario with the first phone call. That first interaction with a person that is not dictated by a keyboard and having plenty of time to compose thoughts for an email, or being able to blame IM for errors in thought/comments. The phone call is often the death knell of these brief flames of internet interest. I was prepared for a nerdy CBG, who had warned me he had some nervousness with women and wanted to share some details on what he told me was a back issue. Yeah, this wasn’t just regular girl caused nerves or a minor back issue. THIS MAN WAS FREAKING SOCIALLY INEPT! Within the first 5 minutes I was informed of horrific girl related fainting episodes and told he, "Thought he was ok, even though he was a bit lightheaded." Now this may have been a compliment, but I actually think he was about to faint, which is not actually all that complimentary to a girl.
His back issue was MAJOR and there are like 5 different degenerative back ailments going on and major back surgery has occurred and will again. He has asthma, terrible eye sight and apparetnly a long list of ailments for our talking pleasure. Now, he was trying to be flirty and hinted at sexual stuff here too like, "I know I sound fragile, but I promise I'm sturdier stuff and good for cuddles and otehr stuff." followed by a few other attempts at flirt/sexy talk. All I could think is, "Sex...seriously dude you are lucky to even be walking...Sex? Really? I would break you, and that's assuming I wasn't just toally grossed out by some of what I have heard and would want to have physical anything with you. GOD HELP ME!!!!"
He had made jokes in an email that he didn’t drive b/c he wanted to save humanity from his driving. FroggerGirl interprets this as funny ha ha, he has some tickets and such on his record. Oh no, he has major depth perception issues and has wrecked 3-4 cars due to this problem. FYI, for any FrogBoys reading this saying, “My Dad is probably borderline Autistic or has a personality disorder. I had a cold childhood and I think I may have inherited some of his traits.” Is not a way to impress a lady, especially when she can’t tell if you joking and is then lead to believe you are not. So alas, the horror continued for too long b/c I was way too nice and couldn’t figure out a good lie to get off the phone.
Crazy me, I agree early in the conversation ,before the train wreck nature of this whole crazy thing comes to light, to go to dinner on Sunday with CBG. Totally regretted that decision by minute 20 on the phone. I decide after consulting the Princezz and other trusted friends, that I’ll give CBG a chance, maybe he was just super nervous? Maybe I’m too nice?
Anyhow, things get EVEN WEIRDER! In less than 24 hours I get about 6 emails ranging from, “Excited about Dinner” to “You can cancel if you want” to “Here is a list of places to meet other dorky guys” to my FAVORITE “I was on pain pills when I wrote those emails please don’t cancel on me” Plus, there was an attempt by CBG to call at like 11pm on a work night, which I ignored b/c, well, I'm a bitch and just couldn't face another phone call. Now, I'm a forgiving understanding person, but this was F**cking NUTS!
So, no date on Sunday for FroggerGirl b/c she reached her weird quota for like months to come. No sir, not going to happen. Apparently my rejection, which I thought was awfully nice and understanding via email, has crushed CBG. I was informed he was through with online dating, and that he probably wouldn’t date for 1-2 years. Yes kids, I have that kind of power, I can crush a man’s dating soul for years without ever having met him and only one phone call. Way to go me and my female powers!
So lesson learned, I am going to encounter my fair share of the freak patrol when online, but I can at least cope with it through humor…and now a blog for the random masses to read. FUN for ALL! Now my massive rant is done…until the next moment of horror to share!
Kate Nash -Foundations
I LOVE THIS SONG! I am tempted to spend waaaay too much money for an import of her CD.
Ohhh...how I wish I could pull off green hair
http://www.greenpowergirl.com/gpg/pages/girl_frog.html
A Frogger Girl can dream of having a cool outfit AND a froggy companion...and probably magical eco-powers of some sort. Sigh!
One More Blog in the Fray!
Well, hello world, random friends and whoever feels like reading this blog. I hope I'm interesting, maybe make you laugh....or possibly even think a deep thought or two. Who knows where the path may lead, but heck I'm willing to trek it!
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