Have you ever had a day that starts with a bad feeling? Inauspicious signs seem to be there? That would be my day today. I had a call from a friend that kept me up late, and thus made me decide to sleep instead of run this morning, but in resetting my alarm, I screwed up and overslept. My morning was rushed, traffic seemed against me and now that I think about it wheels were in motion for the bad that was to come.
I got to work and it was eerily quiet. Things have been slow, so this was not totally a surprise, but my co-worker (daughter of the boss) was kind of weird with me. My Boss was not very engaged, but I assumed our slow business had her down more than usual. Then came the bomb, and try though she might to set it down gently, all bombs sent on a mission seem to explode no matter how careful you are. She asked what I had heard about my Govt job prospects, then came sentences involving the words, numbers crunched, business low, overhead not met, Boss Lady taking a pay cut, co-worker is taking a pay cut...so I volunteer I can take one too...except that is not to be. Blood is thicker than age, skill or the bills I have to pay, so co-worker will keep her job...mine, well not so much. Then boss lady kind of trailed off, no timeline had been set, she was going to try to make some calls for me, but we both new no easy job fix would come. By the time I left the office I knew that this week I would have income, but next week, well there is the mystery for FroggerGirl.
Emails went out in a call to arms to friends who can help in my interim search for temp work, ideas and aid were received and pep talks and hope given. Then other spectres of dread...my desire to move into DC, job panic, a wedding I am supposed to attend...followed by tears. Tears I desperately don't want to shed because I am strong, this is not the end of the world, and tears will not help...but tears come anyway. Tears that make my head hurt, my nose stuff up and my body ache. Tears keep coming unbidden in fits and starts, but I guess that is what sheer terror can do to a girl out of a job who has never been in quite this position before.
Plans are being laid and lists are being drawn up and I can cope with this...perhaps after more tears. Unpleasantness will follow, but that too shall pass. I knew in some back part of my mind that this economic crumble in the housing market would hurt me directly. I knew in some way that challenges I did not want, but must face was looming...and now here they are...KABOOM...in my face. I have survived it and will soon rebuild. Hopefully better and stronger than how I feel now, which is hurt and a bit scared, but determined to overcome and triumph, even though I know it will be hard.
Pollyanna is in my head too, whispering that everything will be OK. Everything happens for a reason. Tears are acceptable for today, but tomorrow they have to go away. Too much to do to wallow in the muck of self-pity. Jobs and apartments need to be found and tasks accomplished.
I would give anything to trade my Terrible, Horrible etc... Day with Alexander. his seems a hell of a lot better than mine! ;-)
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
What a Difference A Day Makes!
Yesterday there was a small cloud of anxiety and doubt hanging out over my very weary little head...until 4:00pm EST! Then that cloud totally went away, not in a burst of rainy tears, but the proverbial sun broke through the cloud! The slow wheels of Govt. that I have been anxiously waiting to see turn...turned!!! Hope has helped defer the stress and fear of uncertainty and that is a wonderful thing that makes a lot of problems seem to melt away. To make this post full of every Pollyanna cliche:
There is Light at the End of the Tunnel
My Glass is Half-Full
My Glasses are Truly Rose colored!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
PBR on NPR? Infomercials on PBS? Really?
So since my last few posts have been focused on heavier life type topics, I think it's far better to focus/rant on some of the more ridiculous and odd things I observe. Far lighter and happier fair indeed.
The first observation is one I enjoy, PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) is apparently a regular sponsor of the NPR programing I listen to. When they do their little mini-commercial promos for sponsors, all of a sudden I hear about Pabst (PBR) it's sponsorship of a musical event and of course proud sponsor of the news and programming. In the last 2 years I have seen a sudden re-emergence of PBR in bars and on menus...of good restaurants. Now offence to those who love PBR and its cans, but it's not the best beer from WI. I grew up being told PBR is a low tier beer, but if they are supporting NPR I may have to reconsider it's tier placement. Either way there is something that makes me giggle about hearing the serious news announcer talk about Pabst Blue Ribbon right before the news. Kind of doesn't fit the picture.
This observation is more of a rant. When did PBS need to start using full on infomercials as a fund raising tool? I mean I can live with fund raising time, and right now I'm a freeloader (not with NPR thankfully) who deals with the specials as par for the course of life with no cable I lead. However, when I see some of the same faces hocking How to Play the Piano and Rich Dad Poor Dad, that I see late at night on regular infomercials...well something just doesn't sit right. I mean PBS still has the annoying specials like Celine Dion Vegas and Celtic Tiger, which is in the same Irish obsession vein as RiverDance, and those I know people snap up. I can live with the brief flashes of the infomercial like programs balanced with the remembered PBS wares for fundraising...but when they do it every weekend for a month and a half? That is just punishment! I mean how many times do you need to show How to Play a Piano w/out a Piano...because God knows that's how I want to learn how to play. And Rich Dad Poor Dad, a program largely predicated on Real Estate Investment? That just seems irresponsible. I can have some relief that fundraising doesn't come around too often and when it does I may have to consider increasing my Netflix disks. I just can't take the infomercial Celine Dion madness for another month and a half, I just love myself too much to suffer that much.
The first observation is one I enjoy, PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) is apparently a regular sponsor of the NPR programing I listen to. When they do their little mini-commercial promos for sponsors, all of a sudden I hear about Pabst (PBR) it's sponsorship of a musical event and of course proud sponsor of the news and programming. In the last 2 years I have seen a sudden re-emergence of PBR in bars and on menus...of good restaurants. Now offence to those who love PBR and its cans, but it's not the best beer from WI. I grew up being told PBR is a low tier beer, but if they are supporting NPR I may have to reconsider it's tier placement. Either way there is something that makes me giggle about hearing the serious news announcer talk about Pabst Blue Ribbon right before the news. Kind of doesn't fit the picture.
This observation is more of a rant. When did PBS need to start using full on infomercials as a fund raising tool? I mean I can live with fund raising time, and right now I'm a freeloader (not with NPR thankfully) who deals with the specials as par for the course of life with no cable I lead. However, when I see some of the same faces hocking How to Play the Piano and Rich Dad Poor Dad, that I see late at night on regular infomercials...well something just doesn't sit right. I mean PBS still has the annoying specials like Celine Dion Vegas and Celtic Tiger, which is in the same Irish obsession vein as RiverDance, and those I know people snap up. I can live with the brief flashes of the infomercial like programs balanced with the remembered PBS wares for fundraising...but when they do it every weekend for a month and a half? That is just punishment! I mean how many times do you need to show How to Play a Piano w/out a Piano...because God knows that's how I want to learn how to play. And Rich Dad Poor Dad, a program largely predicated on Real Estate Investment? That just seems irresponsible. I can have some relief that fundraising doesn't come around too often and when it does I may have to consider increasing my Netflix disks. I just can't take the infomercial Celine Dion madness for another month and a half, I just love myself too much to suffer that much.
Operation News Blackout
OK, a news blackout is probably a bit extreme, but me thinks it's time I reduced my news/mass media intake a bit. I think a giant MUTE button for talking heads and doom/gloom journalism and reporting is sorely needed. I've noticed a spike in my anxiety level, and I believe the amount of news I read, watch, click though on the Internet and listen to on NPR is messing with my head. The news is dominated with talking heads and stories screaming about human misery, a collapsing/weather-crazed planet and war. It always seems that some talking head's screaming about how Americans (and by extrapolation me) will be homeless because of the credit crunch, or die of/suffer from starvation/malnutrition because of food prices (OK that's a bit extreme, but it could effect a lot of low-income Americans), or loose jobs because of oil prices and the economy. I happen to work in the great big world of Real Estate right now, and any good news in housing is quickly drowned out by bad. I hear about high oil prices and then see pictures of horrible floods (which are tragic and legitimate news) followed by screaming headlines about how said floods are going to screw our economy and the whole world...and it just makes me tense, sad and, even right now, ready to cry.
I never used to sit at home in dread of driving to work, dealing with bills or buying groceries....this is a very new and to be honest not very rational. I have a wedding in Mexico next month and I'm having a hard time being excited (which I really want to be) because all I can see is the $$$ involved that I don't have or should be saving for the economic Apocalypse the news keeps forecasting. Yesterday as I was partially filling my gas tank (thank you $4.09 a gallon, which I am grateful for after I see almost $5 in CA) they had the NPR Marketplace report playing over the PA system. The Marketplace Evening Report were talking about consumer confidence and the story was fairly lame about how we have it so much better than in the 70's because we are suffering an economic crisis but we are doing it without disco music. Seriously, disco jokes are lame to begin with, and that lame joke did nothing to make my mood lighter, in fact it ticked me off a bit. The only good point in the story was the reporters admitted they (the Media) were partly responsible for American feeling like poo and living in a state of Economic fear because of how and what channels decide to cover.
So to cure this anxiety spike and try to restore balance to my news needs and mental health I'm going to massively cut-back on the mass media news machine for a while. I can't totally release my addiction to NPR, but I can stop watching the massive blocks of evening news and reduce my news site surfing. I don't have cable and I feel overwhelmed by the news, imagine what 5+ channels of 24 hour non-stop news at my fingertips would do to me! Sheesh! I still hope to know what's going on in the world, but just find the balance in it all!
I never used to sit at home in dread of driving to work, dealing with bills or buying groceries....this is a very new and to be honest not very rational. I have a wedding in Mexico next month and I'm having a hard time being excited (which I really want to be) because all I can see is the $$$ involved that I don't have or should be saving for the economic Apocalypse the news keeps forecasting. Yesterday as I was partially filling my gas tank (thank you $4.09 a gallon, which I am grateful for after I see almost $5 in CA) they had the NPR Marketplace report playing over the PA system. The Marketplace Evening Report were talking about consumer confidence and the story was fairly lame about how we have it so much better than in the 70's because we are suffering an economic crisis but we are doing it without disco music. Seriously, disco jokes are lame to begin with, and that lame joke did nothing to make my mood lighter, in fact it ticked me off a bit. The only good point in the story was the reporters admitted they (the Media) were partly responsible for American feeling like poo and living in a state of Economic fear because of how and what channels decide to cover.
So to cure this anxiety spike and try to restore balance to my news needs and mental health I'm going to massively cut-back on the mass media news machine for a while. I can't totally release my addiction to NPR, but I can stop watching the massive blocks of evening news and reduce my news site surfing. I don't have cable and I feel overwhelmed by the news, imagine what 5+ channels of 24 hour non-stop news at my fingertips would do to me! Sheesh! I still hope to know what's going on in the world, but just find the balance in it all!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Runing Rockstar? Not yet, but soon!
So the FroggerGirl Feelings Funk has lifted! Happy Hour w/Princezz, a decent nights sleep and putting a few ducks in a (mental) row have been immensely helpful! And oddly enough the same thing that helped trigger some funkage on Sunday also helped to lift it, and that is my newish morning run routine.
I've always had a bit of an athletic inclination, emphasis on bit, yet in the past few years I've been in an out of regular physical activity and I decided enough was enough! For my 29th year I've decided to refocus on me, get my career goals a bit more in focus, look at my life and friends and really nurture and grow the good relationships and feelings, and most importantly, get my ass in gear to prep my inexorably aging body for the long haul ahead!
When I moved to DC four years ago I dropped about 20 lbs (thank you elliptical machine!) and got myself to my current state, I'm in decent/OK shape, and I occasionally reach good/great status for brief flashes. Yoga has been great for me on mental and physical levels, but right after my Birthday I started my new challenge, The Couch to 5K Running plan.
One brief history disclosure, I have started and stopped the Couch to 5K plan 2 other times. Both times I made almost to eh 9 week finish mark, but ended up wimping out b/c of illness or scheduling excuses. This time I will make it to the end and keep it up! I like this program, it is easy to follow (when I'm no wussing out) and the Ullery Podcast makes it pretty idiot proof. All I needed was a new iPod Shuffle (my old iPod was offially skunked/dead), downloaded podcast (which is set to music AND tells me when to do what interval) and the mental toughness to force myself to wake-up early. The waking up early part is the toughest for me, a natural night owl, but once I did a few times I discovered it's not nearly as awful as I had feared! :)
Sunday I finished Week 2, and it was a good run. I felt good, the weather was nice, and I finished my last running interval strongly. Yet, when I got home fatigue, muscle soreness and my own hormonal/stressed mind started in on my and my physically tired state caused by meh sleep and the run just made the funk creep in. I tried to focus on the good stings, like hey, I have consistently gotten-up at the crack of dawn to run for 2 weeks, but it was hard to do.
Today, Week 3, more running than walking is creeping into the training, and the challenge is rising. Today the weather was great, low humidity, still in the 60's, just enough sun. The trail I run is relatively busy, so I pass a lot of people out for their morning walks, runs, or bike rides. It makes the morning feel brighter to see so many folks out and about, plus I get to see lots of dogs and since i can't have one of my own yet, I get the vicarious thrill of dog walking/running. I finished my lat run interval strong, I felt great. As the day has moved on I am a bit sleepy, but I still feel good.
I think this whole morning exercise thing will work out just dandy! This time I will make it to the 5K mark and then I can start thinking about The Race for the Cure or other actual event runs.. I have moral support in the form of runner friends including the Princezz who is running the same plan, so this time I think I may actually make it to the "great Shape" mark.
I think 29 is going to be one hell of a year for FroggerGirl! One of her best yet! ;)
I've always had a bit of an athletic inclination, emphasis on bit, yet in the past few years I've been in an out of regular physical activity and I decided enough was enough! For my 29th year I've decided to refocus on me, get my career goals a bit more in focus, look at my life and friends and really nurture and grow the good relationships and feelings, and most importantly, get my ass in gear to prep my inexorably aging body for the long haul ahead!
When I moved to DC four years ago I dropped about 20 lbs (thank you elliptical machine!) and got myself to my current state, I'm in decent/OK shape, and I occasionally reach good/great status for brief flashes. Yoga has been great for me on mental and physical levels, but right after my Birthday I started my new challenge, The Couch to 5K Running plan.
One brief history disclosure, I have started and stopped the Couch to 5K plan 2 other times. Both times I made almost to eh 9 week finish mark, but ended up wimping out b/c of illness or scheduling excuses. This time I will make it to the end and keep it up! I like this program, it is easy to follow (when I'm no wussing out) and the Ullery Podcast makes it pretty idiot proof. All I needed was a new iPod Shuffle (my old iPod was offially skunked/dead), downloaded podcast (which is set to music AND tells me when to do what interval) and the mental toughness to force myself to wake-up early. The waking up early part is the toughest for me, a natural night owl, but once I did a few times I discovered it's not nearly as awful as I had feared! :)
Sunday I finished Week 2, and it was a good run. I felt good, the weather was nice, and I finished my last running interval strongly. Yet, when I got home fatigue, muscle soreness and my own hormonal/stressed mind started in on my and my physically tired state caused by meh sleep and the run just made the funk creep in. I tried to focus on the good stings, like hey, I have consistently gotten-up at the crack of dawn to run for 2 weeks, but it was hard to do.
Today, Week 3, more running than walking is creeping into the training, and the challenge is rising. Today the weather was great, low humidity, still in the 60's, just enough sun. The trail I run is relatively busy, so I pass a lot of people out for their morning walks, runs, or bike rides. It makes the morning feel brighter to see so many folks out and about, plus I get to see lots of dogs and since i can't have one of my own yet, I get the vicarious thrill of dog walking/running. I finished my lat run interval strong, I felt great. As the day has moved on I am a bit sleepy, but I still feel good.
I think this whole morning exercise thing will work out just dandy! This time I will make it to the 5K mark and then I can start thinking about The Race for the Cure or other actual event runs.. I have moral support in the form of runner friends including the Princezz who is running the same plan, so this time I think I may actually make it to the "great Shape" mark.
I think 29 is going to be one hell of a year for FroggerGirl! One of her best yet! ;)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Even a Small Victory is a Good Victory....Right?
So FroggerGirl has had a bit of a funk this week/week-end. Nothing serious, just overtired, post-Birthday week, work is nuts and everything else...so long ramble short, I have a low-grade funk that is easily treated with friends, exercise and happy thoughts.
To treat this funk (which may also have hormonal origins) I'm focusing on all the good things going on. Like, hey next week my hormones will calm down! That will be lovely. Almost the end of the month, so that means work may be busy in a good way instead of boring yet stressful. A certain government agency may finally email me good news, or some news, anything is possible. :)
A bigger happy spot, I have actually gotten up way early to do my Couch to 5K Running podcast for the last two weeks AND I've done well with it! Even this morning I got up early to run. No collapsing with fatigue and in general I feel the better on those active days. I have finally gotten to the point where I can hold a half handstand in my yoga class for more than a few seconds AND I'm in the correct alignment without teacher assistance. Maybe by the end of summer I'll be able to test doing a for real handstand, something I wasn't even able to do when I was a kid.
I have friends, a good book to read and in a few weeks I will have an adventure to Mexico for a friend's Wedding. Never been to Mexico and still lots to do, but I've always been a glass-half-full kind of lady!
OK, sleep helps treat funks, so off to dreamland! I'm already seeing a bit more rose-tint in my glasses, so maybe by tomorrow I'll be at full-blown pair of rose-colored glasses for the day! :)
To treat this funk (which may also have hormonal origins) I'm focusing on all the good things going on. Like, hey next week my hormones will calm down! That will be lovely. Almost the end of the month, so that means work may be busy in a good way instead of boring yet stressful. A certain government agency may finally email me good news, or some news, anything is possible. :)
A bigger happy spot, I have actually gotten up way early to do my Couch to 5K Running podcast for the last two weeks AND I've done well with it! Even this morning I got up early to run. No collapsing with fatigue and in general I feel the better on those active days. I have finally gotten to the point where I can hold a half handstand in my yoga class for more than a few seconds AND I'm in the correct alignment without teacher assistance. Maybe by the end of summer I'll be able to test doing a for real handstand, something I wasn't even able to do when I was a kid.
I have friends, a good book to read and in a few weeks I will have an adventure to Mexico for a friend's Wedding. Never been to Mexico and still lots to do, but I've always been a glass-half-full kind of lady!
OK, sleep helps treat funks, so off to dreamland! I'm already seeing a bit more rose-tint in my glasses, so maybe by tomorrow I'll be at full-blown pair of rose-colored glasses for the day! :)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Birthdays
What's better than a Birthday? Not much! FroggerGirl had a lovely time with friends for her 29th (yes, I turned what is a false age for many, but the real deal for me) and it was craziness and great all in one!
I always new I had great friends, and they were willing to deal with cabs, some planning Snafus and a few location changes, but they were all troopers and we had a great time. The restaurant we ended up in by complete chance was named Argonauts was surprising good, located in a borderline neighborhood of DC, but the food and service was great and I'll definitely head back to the area for food again. The evening ended with a side trip to Adams Morgan to people watch and sit outside was also lovely.
I can't stop this whole ageing process, but at least I can enjoy myself with friends and fun to ease the passage of time! Good stuff! :-)
I always new I had great friends, and they were willing to deal with cabs, some planning Snafus and a few location changes, but they were all troopers and we had a great time. The restaurant we ended up in by complete chance was named Argonauts was surprising good, located in a borderline neighborhood of DC, but the food and service was great and I'll definitely head back to the area for food again. The evening ended with a side trip to Adams Morgan to people watch and sit outside was also lovely.
I can't stop this whole ageing process, but at least I can enjoy myself with friends and fun to ease the passage of time! Good stuff! :-)
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Vanity
OK, so I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately. I've never considered myself a vain person, but I've come to realize my sense of vanity has developed more as I age. Back in High School and College I was more concerned with make-up and some fashion, but never really obsessed or anything and I certainly never pulled mush off with flair. College then degraded to me really not giving 2 sh*ts about lots of appearance factors like my weight etc... Yet in the last few years things like skin condition, weight and fashion have started to mean more to me.
An example? I got a haircut last month that literally left me in tears...twice! The hair wasn't terrible by any means, but it felt boring, like middle-aged-overweight-Mom hair! NOT COOL! I dealt with it until I saw the ever lovely Princezz sporting great hair and I too had to reclaim my head! Now after $80 I'm sporting a mighty fine do, and I will just have to continue splashing out for fabulousness from now on. In my earlier 20's (and to be honest at many points in adolescents) I sported some wicked awful/weird hair, but now it actually affects my mood. I had tears over HAIR! And no, it was not hormones, it was the haircut that caused the tears.
I've given in to my need to moisturize, sunscreen my super pale self, and even check for grey hair and fine lines. Make-up and I are still in a strange detente where I will wear it on rare occasions, but so far have been able to look fine w/out it. According to others my fashion sense is better than I give it credit for...and my ego/vanity center is very happy about that. ;) I will soon (so very soon) be 29, the gateway to 30, and I'll be damned if I look prematurely older or preternaturally younger than my age.
However friends and loved-ones, if you see me acting too crazy vain please help a FroggerGirl out and give me a wake-up call. :)
An example? I got a haircut last month that literally left me in tears...twice! The hair wasn't terrible by any means, but it felt boring, like middle-aged-overweight-Mom hair! NOT COOL! I dealt with it until I saw the ever lovely Princezz sporting great hair and I too had to reclaim my head! Now after $80 I'm sporting a mighty fine do, and I will just have to continue splashing out for fabulousness from now on. In my earlier 20's (and to be honest at many points in adolescents) I sported some wicked awful/weird hair, but now it actually affects my mood. I had tears over HAIR! And no, it was not hormones, it was the haircut that caused the tears.
I've given in to my need to moisturize, sunscreen my super pale self, and even check for grey hair and fine lines. Make-up and I are still in a strange detente where I will wear it on rare occasions, but so far have been able to look fine w/out it. According to others my fashion sense is better than I give it credit for...and my ego/vanity center is very happy about that. ;) I will soon (so very soon) be 29, the gateway to 30, and I'll be damned if I look prematurely older or preternaturally younger than my age.
However friends and loved-ones, if you see me acting too crazy vain please help a FroggerGirl out and give me a wake-up call. :)
No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...just sat around at the edge and chilled.
Oh Dear...I knew I had been a neglectful blogger to all three ( I may be overestimating here) of you who read this meandering spewing of brain goo that FroggerGirl calls a blog, but I had no idea how neglectful I had been. I have not posted since February? Really? So Sorry...I must have been keeping all of my brain goo to myself...or something. Sorry to have been so remiss and I shall endeavor to be better.
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