The Bitter and The Sweet

It's fascinating how the Universe seems to work. For all things good there are things bad and the equilibrium of it all sometimes makes no sense. My day yesterday had both sweet and bitter and I still can't quite sort through it all.

Yesterday was my big day, the interview I have been waiting and hoping for since March was finally going to happen. I have been sick all week, so I was stressed that I would look and sound awful, completely blank on a question, and a million other pre-interview worries. By 10:30 a.m. that was all wiped from my mind and a big dose of perspective replaced all the worries and fears.

I received an email via Facebook that changes everything. A roommate of my dear friend Mr. Man could only think of one way to get a hold of me to tell me some terrible news and that was Facebook. So in a Friend Request was one of the worst things I could have imagined: Mr. Man has been attacked and robbed Wednesday night and he was in the hospital, his long term prognosis was good, but he was in a bad way. Not many details, just he was robbed, possibly targeted for being gay, but who knows? Could have been bored thugs bent of bullying and beating. There was shock and the immediate need to pass along the message to others who know and love Mr. Man. Then a weird sense of calm. What did I have to worry about? An interview is daunting, but at least I'm safe and healthy enough to live my life and have the interview. I decided then and there my interview would be fine, but Mr. Man may not be fine, so all prayers and calls for help needed to go to him, not me.

I went to my interview, and I know this will sound immodest, but I rocked it! At the end of my interview on of my panelists even told me, "You did good!" which made me feel great. After the fact my friend Defense Guru followed up with some of his contacts and gave me the best feedback of all: The interviewers had said I was a definite hire. Mind you, I still have to wait and see if this all comes together, but it felt so good to know I had done well, and that this long hoped for opportunity may actually happen. Mama Frogger was so proud of me when I called to update her that it almost made me cry. I could tell she was just happy for me and the opportunity I may well get after a few weeks of uncertainty and fear. Friends were nothing but supportive and I was really happy...until I wasn't. The sheer happiness was dampened because it was mixed with worry about Mr. Man.

I know I have every right to be thrilled and jump for joy, but at the same time one of my closest friends is in a bad way and it's hard to feel both the worry and the happy at the same time. This strange bittersweet will be with me for a while. Mr. Man would have been one of the first I told my my interview success, but I can't right now. I want to visit him, but I worry about my germs, his family needing the time with him and everything else. To see he is as OK as he can be will help, so a visit will happen very soon.

I understand and in a strange way can accept that bad things happen to good people. So much in our lives is out of our control. I take comfort in the fact that Mr. Man has loving family and friends to support him. I have to believe that even the worst of things can make us stronger in the long run if we let them. So I will learn from the bittersweet that the good and the bad often come together. Yet, in my heart of hearts, I wish I didn't have to learn this lesson at all, but I can't change the past or the lesson, so I learn.